I cant take it anymore, when im alone i have ideals and thoughts that are brilliant! I know what will make my life wonderful but when it comes to the time when i should put those ideals into action it never happens. The root of my problems is alcohol. I'm only 20 but i couldnt go more than 2 days without a drinkk. I aint an alcoholic, alcoholic's body's cant take a day without a drink. It's my mind. My head cant take that long without a vacation from this shit! I have a drink and then its out of my hands. If i'm nothing else i'm a fall-down drunk. When i'm drunk (i mean even a buzz) i do things i dont stand for! yea, waking up and you semi-remember shit that pisses you off that you did but build all those things up over 8yrs and i got alot of fucking hatred for myself!