I'm so tired of pretending that I'm ok, that I'm not depressed and constantly thinking of suicide. Everything should be great, but it's not, and I don't want to do it anymore. I'm more ill than people realise, I'm so sick of being in pain, and I'm running out of reasons to live. I wish I was at home, I have my method pretty much ready and waiting there, and I can't even self harm here. I'd promised that I'd live until at least the end of my degree, but all I can't think about is suicide. This is no life.