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so so lonely and sad

Hi everyone,
Its seems like the closer that Christmas creeps up on me the worse I feel. Everything reminds me of our traditions, the love. Now that I am here alone, there is nothing but memories. People keep telling me "just think of the good memories". The good memories HURT. They remind me of everything I have lost, and will never have again. We had built up SO MANY traditions over the years. Special, special things that were simple yet so important to us. The love was amazing. It was such a special time of year for us. I do have suicidal thoughts every day, my therapist said it is "chronic suicidal ideation" . I wish i could just escape this pain for awhile. I have tried the skills learned in therapy but I am still so lonely and sad.. I'm grieving for my family and the life I lost when I lost them. Covid of course makes it worse because you can't even go visit others. One day of pain after another, that's my life. I feel so sad right now.

Anonymous ID

Well-Known Member
I hope you get better and are able to create a new family. I know it's not the same but it's better than nothing. I couldn't picture life without family, especially when you were so close. I am here if you wanna talk about it
Thank you Anonymous,
I have pretty severe social anxiety and find it very hard to make friends or even talk to people. It is so hard. We were so "enmeshed" that I feel like everything is gone. I keep holding on for my dog as silly as that might seem. When it is his time, I don't think I will last long.


SF Supporter
It is hard to create a new family. I have lost most of mine and I also can become very sad, even thinking of good times. We have to move forward anyway, don't we? I'm trying too, but it isn't easy.

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