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So tempting

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Anam_Cara, Mar 15, 2009.

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  1. Anam_Cara

    Anam_Cara Well-Known Member

    Its so tempting to stop taking my mediction and injections that stop me getting blood clots.. Why am i bothering with treatment? Its just keeping me in a place im unhappy and have no hope of escape from..
  2. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    ....i know it is so tempting...but i hope you cling to the part of yourself that is reaching out here now..

    we have been communicating, so know you can lean on me.....
    it is very positive that you posted here.
    stay here; life can have great beauty, even admidst great suffering. i want you to stay and look for the beauty.
    you deserve better days - stay here, and keep hoping. pm anytime...
  3. Beautiful Disaster

    Beautiful Disaster Forum Buddy SF Supporter


    sorry to heart that you feel that way.
    But posting here is a good thing to do.
    Just try to hang in there for better days. and do take medication, you dont wanna live the rest of your live with the consequences of one mistake

    (my sight has decreased badly since i took an overdose, and its bugging me everyday because of one mistake but i have to deal with that the rest of my life, oh well)

    just keep talking to us,
    stay safe hun

  4. Anam_Cara

    Anam_Cara Well-Known Member

    Whats a bigger mistake? Stopping my treatment and getting blood clots in my lungs again, or prolonging my unhappiness and being homeless soon? I have no inspiration to even get out of bed the last few days.. What i want and need isnt possible so why heal?
  5. Overruled

    Overruled Active Member

    Because if you heal you are getting better. You may never notice the healing, but the fact is, you aren't dead. You might be otherwise.

    You are not prolonging "unhappiness" as such, you are prolonging life, and you are unhappy with your life. It may not seem like much of a difference, but it truly is. If you are able to deal with just the unhappiness in your life, it makes your fight that much easier. It is never easy, but easier is better, and we'll help you get through it.

    If you don't have inspiration to get out of bed, let us provide it. Wake up a little earlier and post here, and let us comfort you. That little boost might just help you through the day. You are here to get support, and we will provide.

    Just make sure you keep giving us the opportunity.
  6. Beautiful Disaster

    Beautiful Disaster Forum Buddy SF Supporter

    I know youre sad, hurt and unhappy now.
    and you dont feel like there are any options left..

    but there are sweety..

    but giving up on everything isnt really gonna help the situation..
    I know that there are some threads about getting help if you are becoming homeless.
    Look into them. I am even willing to do some research for you to see if it can be prevented from happening..
    But at the end of the day it is you who has to make the decision to make something out of you life. Not me, not the people around you, really only you..

    And you can be sad and depressed and take a step back for a while, take all the time you need to find strenght.

    But you got to believe that someday, maybe sooner than you think things will change.
    Dont give up, cause if you have already given up on yourself it makes it harder for other to help you, and im so sure that there are people out there who are more than willing to help. Now the question is, do you help?
    And i think you do, cause else you wouldnt be on this forum, reaching out. :hug:

    and sometimes things need to go wrong, so you can start all over again, with help from others, and a new perspective..

    dont give up, give in..

  7. Anam_Cara

    Anam_Cara Well-Known Member

    Im done..im too tired and too sick.. Nothing is okay EVER! Im getting no help from my medical doctor,shes making everything worse,i was taken to the ER because im sick on top of recovering from blood clots in both lungs now im sick too,got an infection and am miserable..ER called my stupid doctor and 20 mins later i was rudely discharged..my primary care doc is negligent, doesnt answer calls, shes managing my care badly..and shes mad at me because ive been persistent in calling her until she gets off her ass and does her job..funny how i was rudely discharged after the er doc rang her.. I am DONE with all this,today blew it, im done,done DONE! Im stopping all my meds,i dont care anymore if i die! Let me get more blood clots..maybe then id just die and be at peace..i dont care..my life is so screwed up im never going to be okay..no reason to get better..everything i wanted and needed is never going to be mine..to hell with all this..if whatever god there is wants me to live then i will,if not then nature can take its course,im stopping treatment..
  8. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    ....sorry to find you still, so low.

    is there any way at alll that you can switch doctors? or make a complaint about your primary doctor? seems that you should not have to tolerate your case being poorly managed.

    i know you are overwhelmed with troubles, and they seem to come at you from every side. even when it seems so dark, there is a light... you can't see it because you are too far down...so hold on to us and try to make it through. :console:
  9. Anam_Cara

    Anam_Cara Well-Known Member

    My troubles will be over soon.. I had a nervous breakdown tonight,was denied meds i needed by the pharmacy,my doctors office was unreachable, landed in the er, have an infection,cant eat,cant drink,vomiting and severe nausea for 3 days and the er refused to give me fluids,just discharged me..did nothing.. I hope i die..god wants me dead.. Even after days of being unable to eat or drink right i get zero help, i gave treatment another day..now im stopping it..
  10. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    ...i hope you don't go.
    i cannot imagine all you are going through - especially your physical difficulties. but i hope you try to make it through this....i would hate to lose you, you are such a kind and friendly person.

    please lean on me, while you are hurting and tired - know someone is thinking of you - :console:
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