so terrible

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by marjoke, Jun 13, 2012.

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  1. marjoke

    marjoke Account Closed

    Today is so terrible...all days are bad... going over worse...but today... I just can't handle things anymore...can't think straight...I feel so empty...ready to jump...I'm feeling like I really have reached the end...I try to do something do distract me but...I have no good feeling about today...sorry...
    I need can't carry on anymore...sorry...please...forgive me...
  2. lelantgirl

    lelantgirl Well-Known Member

    Hi Marjo, Its Melinda here.
    Its all very good and easy trying to do something to distract ourselves isn't it, I have been doing that and straight after its all SO much worse, to the point I can't take it.
    You say you have no good feeling about today, well for me neither do I. I dont say that to copy your feelings, but to show you that at least one other person knows the Hell, and there will be many more.
    You say you need somebody and you cant carry on anymore, this is the more desperate place that we can reach and its just awful. Last night I was ready to end it all for good, something stopped me. This morning I feel such emptiness its killing me, so I came on the forum and seen your post and knew 'why' I didn't kill myself last night, as you needed me right now.
    I received your private message, thankyou and was going to reply soon, just thought I'd give you a little breathing space. However I am here right now and the offer is open to you to just contact me whenever you need to.
    Your picture icon shows 2 hands holding and saying 'never let me go', well I am holding out my hand to you, take it (I know its not the hand you want) but its a genuine hand from someone who knows the daily daggers of this pain and utter devastation.
    I am suicidal right now, its horrid, there is nothing to forgive you for my friend, YOU have done nothing, life has hurt and been cruel to you deeply, that is not your fault.
    I understand though these words, as I often utter them too.
    I will check back on here later and see how you are. REMEMBER to message me anytime, will be there.
    Take care xx
  3. Arthur

    Arthur Account Closed

    marjoke, i know that life isn't easy, but never forget you're not alone in this fight, we're here on this forum to give you some sort of support, perhaps we're limited in what we can give as support, but still, we care deeply about you, if today is a hard day, try to take things slowly, take a nap if you can, try to relax.
    Big hugs coming your way.

  4. marjoke

    marjoke Account Closed

    Thank you for replying...beautiful words that are touching me...but I am all alone in this after all...I am the one who has to do it...and I can't forgive/forget me...
  5. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    We will not forget Marjo and there is nothing to forgive.
    You can always PM me if you wish.
  6. marjoke

    marjoke Account Closed

    I have made it through the day...the past horrible night...I woke up this morning...again..
    still feeling bad...but you people have given me the strenght to hold on...for now...THANK YOU
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