so that's it.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by yeh., Aug 25, 2007.

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  1. yeh.

    yeh. Well-Known Member

    i have fucked up things again.
    i've relapsed into the worst state of mind i could ever be
    i have attracted all this to me and this time im afraid im not gonna be able to escape it. funny thing. death seem sto simple right now. and yet i want to write to someone that im serious about it.
    i even wrote to a freidn which by the way i kinda fucked (and he fucked me)
    i dont know may the the normal guilr feelings of this shit.

    is just too much i cannot even begin to explain it. i feel anger for writing it
    i feel angst and im gonna just shut myself down. it's been weird.
  2. mike308

    mike308 Well-Known Member

    yea, you are writing like you are drunk as heck...
    don't do it....
    We are all here for you...
    Even an old screw up like me....
    it is always worce then it seems at first.
  3. TranceAngel

    TranceAngel Well-Known Member

    i think mike is right. let whatever you took or drank clear out of your system and revisit things with a sharper mind. i hope it will look better then, but at least you can make a rational decision about things.
  4. yeh.

    yeh. Well-Known Member

    fraternity of the ghouls
    restless aside on moonshines of hopes
    relying on dreams of runs
    forsaken the sacred runs of the nights
    relying on drems of runs
    gone way past and come
    folly shapes
    folly shapes.
  5. yeh.

    yeh. Well-Known Member

    Jimbo's heavens.

    frowning on the night of holy dead
    relying on landscapes of calmness
    not much to say or do
    nor gods or dogs
    letting the fear come over

    what to say when's all said?
    what to do when you don't know anymore?
    how to act when you act like 'em?
    how to love when you're all love?

    how to talk?
    how to talk?
    what to say?
    why to say?

    im supposed to be a human being!
    im supposed to laugh and be j
    im supposed to not take this shit to fucking serious!
    im supposed to laugh and love, not to raise above/em all
    so fuck off god for making me a god.
    fuck off devil for telling me you're in pain
    but most of all, fuck off death.

    how to talk?
    how to talk when all you do is judge?
    how to talk when all you do is respect?
    how to tall

    So jimbo realized in time, that what he wanted wasn't to achieve immortality or achieve the divine
    he just wanted to forget and start over, watching t.v. laughing. being human. restless jimbo's come aside.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 27, 2007
  6. yeh.

    yeh. Well-Known Member

    and not a bottle of two. just a friend who taught me to learn
    and yet he vanished in the horizons, like using tools, and i knew it and yet i reached him. and now he-s changing places.

    and its too much, is just too much and i cant do it again.
    im making a fool oit of me and everyone has seen my pain now
    how can they ever forget? how can i ever forget?
    how can i stop acting and just be?
    why god stills wants me here? why????
    didn't i already fucked things up? in my hearth?
    ive gtg/
  7. yeh.

    yeh. Well-Known Member

    too step?

    too coward?
    what's the way to happiness?
    each one of us makes it.
    to where? is it being an outcast?
    is it talking while you're at j?
    is it thinking there's got to be something else?
    or is it simple depression, and guilt.
    or self/pity
    or simply cowardice?
    what is it?
    what is it that pushes us to love?
    and what is it that pushes us?
    what is it that pushes me to attack my host?
    what is it?
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 27, 2007
  8. yeh.

    yeh. Well-Known Member

    too coward to love'em

    every girl i ever saw, every step i ever took. too coward to forsake
    and now. there's silence. and i'm poison
    ah! let me laugh at the silence. a silent silence!

    In the nights of gold, in the hopes of flames.
    the dream awaits. LOVE and LOVE, little dove.
    come and go, forsaken golds
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 27, 2007
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