so there it is

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by fjgvkh, Jul 3, 2008.

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  1. fjgvkh

    fjgvkh New Member

    i guess posting here means ive hit rock motherfuckin bottom right?
    trying for people on the internet to make sense out of my life
    ill just throw it out there for ya if you wanna read this
    im 16 now, and when i was 13 i first started thinking: wouldnt it all be easier if i just killed myself? and over the 3 years it has gotten worse
    i dont really find any joy in life anymore
    every day it gets worse, and that ''hold on, better days will come'' bullshit wont work on me, because for the past 3 years every day of my life has been worse than the day before, and its only getting worse, no stopping it
    pretty much the only thing i can do is just chill and smoke some pot and i wont really think about it, and even if i do think about killing myself i dont really give a fuck
    ive been reading some stories here and i cant really find myself in them
    nobody even knows i wanna do this stuff so i cant talk to anyone else about it
    they wouldnt really give a shit anyways thats how it goes around here
    so, i will spare you all of my problems, just trust me on it that i cant ever solve them, and theyll get worse by the day, and get worse then they got worse the day before, etc.
    so my question is
    im 16
    i live in a house with my parents, my brother and my sister
    how should i kill myself? i wanna go quick & painless but im not gonna spend all my money on a gun, so should i just buy a rope & hang myself, that sounds pretty easy
    or sleeping pills, i love to sleep, would you like ''sleep forever''?
    what do you think happends when you die?
    is there really heaven or hell?
    i guess thats another thing that draws me to suicide, finding out what happends after it
    maybe just out of fear of going to hell i should walk into a ghetto neighborhood with a clans suit on, so i can find out without actually committing a ''sin''?
    anyways i hope i didnt waste your time, & help me i guess
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    You have alot going on for your age. You say you have read some of the posts from others. I think you are missing the point. We come to the forum for support and advice, If you make some friends on line all the more better.
    Have you been to a therapist? You should give them a chance. It takes work and time to understand what is dragging you down. I hope you will keep posting so we can understand where all your thoughts are coming from.
    Stay Safe and Stay Strong...:chopper:...
  3. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Have you ever seen a professional about this?
    Things may seem pointless but life won't stay that way, as long as your alive, you still have the ability to change things and therefore make things in your life better.
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