So there's this guy...

[Hazibell]

He's everything I've ever dreamed about.
And so much more.
I've never felt this way, and hope never to ever again.
Okay. There's a guy. I've known him for a few months off and on.
At the moment I see him quite regularly. Due to having the same interests etc.
I can't stop thinking about him. He's on my mind in the daytime. I dream about him some nights.
But. He doesn't know how I feel. And I'm never going to tell him. It's one of those things. I KNOW he doesn't like me. People ask 'how do you know if you haven't told him or asked him?' Because I KNOW. But. I would rather not have it confirmed if I ever mentioned it to him how I felt, so I'm just assuming he doesn't. I mean, why would he?
I'm not attractive. I'm nothing special. He's more intelligent than I am. He has talent in things I can only dream of. He's met some amazing women throughout his life (he is older than me). And has so many commitments, I doubt I even enter his mind.
I adore spending time with him. He intrigues and amazes me. It's one of those 'cute' things I guess. I can't look at him without going red etc etc.
But at the same time I hate it. I cry every night. Not just because of this. Other things too. But the thought of not being with him, or him talking to other girls. We are friends. But not amazingly close. So it isn't like I talk to him EVERY day. I would love to. I just never know what about.
It's just another one of those cases where you love someone and they don't love you back. And it'll be like that forever. I should stop letting it get to me. I should stop being so pathetic. I know this. All of it. But I love him. It isn't just a 'crush' kind of thing. I really love him. I can't tell him. Not ever. But it's making me so unhappy. I would try and spend less time around him. But it's a little impossible at the moment. And I do like to be in his company.
ARGH. It's so frustrating and upsetting. If this is love...fuck it.

 

[pither]

Hiya Maddie,

I completely know what you're going through. My situation had a few differences, but we more or less feel the same way.

My best friend, is a guy and I've known him for 5 plus years now. He's younger than me but he is so much more attractive than I am, and so much more together. I was IN LOVE with him. I mean he was my entire life. My thoughts, my goals, my dreams, all of it. He could be a real dick when he wanted to be, but nothing could blind me of my image of him at the time.

But quickly I came to realize that he's way too immature for the type of relationship I would want, and it would be completely awkward if I ignored that fact. The jealousy and feelings of "not being as good looking as he is" would eventually ruin the relationship. He's a champion swimmer, rockin' body, wears what he wants and pulls it off. He has lots of pretty little swimmer friends who talk to him all the time. They're all attractive and blond and throw themselves at anything that moves. I mean it would kill me to know that he was practically naked with these people every night at swim practice! I hated it. I hated that I was the one he took with him everywhere, I was the one who spent countless weekends hang out in his basement, I was the one that loved him most and all I wanted was for him to hold my hand. I have never wanted anything in my entire life as much as I wanted him to take my hand in his. To this day I still wish he would, even if I don't feel as strongly for him.

It hurts to know that the one person you love and you want is just not the person for you. I would cry at night too, because I knew that I wasn't good enough for him. I would cry because it was the only thing I wanted and I just couldn't have it. I know how you feel hun. It hurts, but you have to keep you head up and know that there is a someone out there for you. You just have to find them-

-em

 

[LastCrusade]

it's painful when u love someone and u know that the person doesnt love u back. but that part of life. not everyone that u are attracted to will be attracted to you. Everyone goes through this phase. You've just got to be patient. Maybe one day eventually you'll find someone who u are really attracted to and he loves u back.