He's everything I've ever dreamed about. And so much more. I've never felt this way, and hope never to ever again. Okay. There's a guy. I've known him for a few months off and on. At the moment I see him quite regularly. Due to having the same interests etc. I can't stop thinking about him. He's on my mind in the daytime. I dream about him some nights. But. He doesn't know how I feel. And I'm never going to tell him. It's one of those things. I KNOW he doesn't like me. People ask 'how do you know if you haven't told him or asked him?' Because I KNOW. But. I would rather not have it confirmed if I ever mentioned it to him how I felt, so I'm just assuming he doesn't. I mean, why would he? I'm not attractive. I'm nothing special. He's more intelligent than I am. He has talent in things I can only dream of. He's met some amazing women throughout his life (he is older than me). And has so many commitments, I doubt I even enter his mind. I adore spending time with him. He intrigues and amazes me. It's one of those 'cute' things I guess. I can't look at him without going red etc etc. But at the same time I hate it. I cry every night. Not just because of this. Other things too. But the thought of not being with him, or him talking to other girls. We are friends. But not amazingly close. So it isn't like I talk to him EVERY day. I would love to. I just never know what about. It's just another one of those cases where you love someone and they don't love you back. And it'll be like that forever. I should stop letting it get to me. I should stop being so pathetic. I know this. All of it. But I love him. It isn't just a 'crush' kind of thing. I really love him. I can't tell him. Not ever. But it's making me so unhappy. I would try and spend less time around him. But it's a little impossible at the moment. And I do like to be in his company. ARGH. It's so frustrating and upsetting. If this is love...fuck it.