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So this is life?

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Funny how the world changes as we grow up, I always figured the older I got the better things had to get. I look at my life now, ten years from now twenty years from now. I don’t see my situation or outlook on life changing. Most mornings I get up to go into a job where all I hear is people bitch about how shitty everything is, I sit on the computer and listen to people bitch and moan on the other end. I have a boss who keeps promising training and more involvement in what we are doing, greater responsibly and what happens? My co-workers fight and piss of the network engineers to the point they won’t trust us to do even the simplest things. Come-on who in their right fucking mind would post full administrative passwords in a ticket system the whole company can read? Sigh so work is going all to hell, then I get to come home and try to keep myself busy during my days off, I call my friends and unless its drinking or sitting around playing games then they tell me to buzz off, unless they need help with something then I am useful to them.

So what is the point of all of this? Living a life just to reach the end of it as fast as I can, I sit and think of all the things I should be doing, continuing my education, fight and put the effort in to try and get the world to wake up and quit destroying the world in the name of greed and profit. Finding and getting a job I am once again happy to go into. I want to do all of this but every time I look out the window I know in the end it won’t make a bit of difference. I can get all the education I want, I will never make it all the way to anything meaningful. Sure I could find another job but I will just be stuck in the same bureaucratic bullshit. As for trying to change the world, ha that will never happen, to many people have to much invested to give it up or change. No where just going to keep spiraling down this same old path over and over again, what a life, I just wish someone had given me the choice to be born our not. I just wish I had the courage and strength to take myself out of this mess; I am just too much of a coward.

Thanks for listing,


Antiquities Friend
Staff Alumni
Want to make a difference? Join Greenpeace or Amnesty International.

Dont mean that in a trite way either, sometimes feeling like we have some control and are making a difference can help no end.


Well-Known Member
Sounds like society to me. It's the same for the vast majority of people. You are an exception because you see the futility of things around you. The website: cuttingthroughthematrix.com helped me come to terms with 'life' better.
Raven, We have discussed this issue so many times before only in several different forms. I continue to hold on to that glimmer of hope for you. I am sorry you work with so many incompetent people. I also apologize for not being available for you as of late. I miss our chats. You are in no way a coward. It takes more strength to continue on than it does to let go. You are a stronger person than you allow yourself to admit. Remember you have a friend here. No expectations, no strings. The only thing I ask of you is that you be honest with yourself and be who you are. My thoughts are with you.
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