So this is what real therapy feels like

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Bigman2232, Nov 12, 2008.

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  1. Bigman2232

    Bigman2232 Well-Known Member

    So I completely froze in the referral meeting I had and I just couldn't say the real reason I was having problems. Not huge since they're more for those that need drugs and I don't think I do (at least not yet). So he sent me with a note back to the counseling offices (which are real trained therapists) and I had a walk in appointment (so 20-30 minutes).

    I had been there before and felt like I was being nothing but a pain but this time was completely different. I got a different therapist than I had previously seen and I actually feel like it helped.

    I think a few things made a difference.

    1) She's a woman, while my other therapist was a man. I don't care if it makes me seem sexist or whatever, but it's just hard to talk to another guy about your feelings. It's like there is a biological/psychological condition to not show emotions in front of another male. I think this is why I froze in the referral. So this time I actually talked about what was really bothering me and not just making up excuses about my academics.

    2) She took the initiative to read my body language, facial expressions and other non verbal ques and brought up the topics for me. I'm still nervous about what I'm willing to reveal (I really don't want others to be brought in). But because she asked about and said things that were completely true, I felt that I could talk and not worry. She identified things and characteristics about me that I tend to hide very well from everyone else and actually asked about whether I show any of my frustration and loneliness when I'm in public (I don't). It was creepy but absolutely amazing how well she picked up things.

    3) She said she sees me as someone who has a long history and is likely very stubborn about my views and how I see the world. This means she understands that I can't just try and be positive or simply stop my way of thinking and that will make everything all better (this is basically what I got from my first therapist).

    I talked and revealed more in the 45 mins (she went long for me) with her, than I did in multiple 1 hour sessions with the first guy. I'm on a high right now because for the first time in a long time I feel like I have a person that I can talk face to face with and feel comfortable enough with to reveal the real source of my depressions and maybe make some headway.

    I know it will only take one thing to kick me down again but at least I can actually talk about it at my next appointment in about 2 weeks.

    I guess the person you get really does make a huge difference.
     
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Yes it took me three therapists before I found Gina. She is great. She has been seeing me going on three years. I trust her with about everything that is going on with me. Like I have said before she really doesn't talk much about my suicidal ideations. I think that is because if she thinks I am going to harm myself she is obligated to report me and have me picked up.
    I am glad you found help thru therapy. If you read my posts I am always telling people to seek out a good therapist. Take Care!!~Joseph~
     
  3. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Really pleased for you Bigman. Talking about how you feel to someone who you can trust is a real help. I've realized that from chatting to people here. Glad you seem to have found your self a good therapist. Best of luck.:smile:
     
  4. Oak

    Oak Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    i've tried several therapists and psicologists and i agree with you. finding the right person on the same level is a must and a rare thing. i just about hit the last one i had as she was discussing me with others as i found out later.
    TRUST is something not to fool around with and if you find one that you trust and can be open about everything, it will help you a lot.

    Best wishes Bigman xox
     
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am glad you found someone you feel you can deal with Bigman. Trust is such a huge part of therapy. I hope it works out for you. :hug:
     
  6. ya i know about the trust issue for sure, the last / only therapist i talked to about my depression was married to one of my teachers in highschool... as you can well imagine all of the teachers started treating me diff. like i was some sort of freak that was gonna start killing people...

    ya, really f'ed up my senior year for sure... didn't help matters the quack had me on lithium and crap and that shit did make me let out the anger i always kept in check.

    i have dealt with it on my own ever since, i stopped the drugs on my own and never Ever told another dr about it or the pain, just deal w/it on my own. 18+ years of still being alive, graduating collage, keeping a steady job, etc. so i guess i must have done something right somewhere.

    I am extremely happy for you that you have found someone you can trust to talk to though, i know that helps alot. i can talk to my wife about it sort of. have to be carefull not to let her think that i am suicidal or anything though lol funny how that works.
     
  7. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    The psychiatrist who does medication where I go is male... I can't deal with it too well. He scares me, just by being male.
     
  8. middleofnowhere

    middleofnowhere Well-Known Member

    I'm a man, and first had a woman psychologist, and found it hard to be open with her. When I found a male psychotherapist, I knew I had found someone with whom I could be absolutely open and honest. I told him things I've never told anyone else. Trouble is, we ended treatment last month, and I'm back to just the woman every other week, which is mostly a waste of my time. She doesn't seem to be interested in the issues that I most need to talk about. I think they make her uncomfortable. If things get too bad, I can walk in to the man's office for 20 minutes or so, as you did.

    Interesting that some prefer same sex and others prefer opposite sex counsellors. It's great to find the right one, whatever the sex.
     
  9. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Yep! I am male and I prefer a woman therapist. I am not comfortable telling my problems to another male. Besides I like women better!!!
     
  10. titanic

    titanic Well-Known Member

    Just to echo this comment
    xx
     
  11. Rosenrot

    Rosenrot Forum Buddy

    It really does make a difference who the therapist is. I've yet to find such a therapist, unfortenently, and I don't have medical insurance, so that sucks.

    Best of luck to you.
     
  12. perfectempire

    perfectempire Active Member

    Same sex, opposite sex. I wonder what Freud would have to say about all this...
    It took me 12 therapists to find one that worked for me.
     
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