Im nto really telling you guys, i'm telling myself who i am because i don't know. I long for some kind of identity but i don't have one. So help me make one for myself as I list random facts about myself *I was born in plano, texas *my first memory is of my aunts wedding where I danced with a girl who was also three years old. My aunt had a horrible divorce. *I moved a number of times living in various states across america, and never really felt connected to anywhere. *when I was twelve, for fun me and my friends( i had two friends) enjoyed playing soccer, playing videogames, exploring sewers, and playing magic the gathering. I got very good at MTG, so that i was a full fledged nerd * I am a virgin, although I seriously do not know how that has happened. I am not ugly and I almost lost my virginity a number of times but always pulled away from it for one reason or another * i had a reputation as a stoner before I ever smoked pot. This is because I have innatentive ADD and sort of Drift everywhere, I dont follow orders and im always looking out windows or getting lost in my thoughts. * I made friends with really wierd people in kansas and became a small time drug dealer. I smoked ice a couple times(smokable crystal meth) and I smoked nug(type of hash). But these people werent really my friends. They were evil and incapable of having true friends. * I began to escape more and more into myself. I am not afriad of talking to people or anything like that, Im actually very confident, but I live in this hazy state where nothing makes sense. I was not hazy due to drugs, I had never been capable of thinking entirely straight all the time, and i always felt like this, like there is a secret that everyone else is in on and im alone. *On the night I was supposed to be baptized, I ran away from home without telling anyone and roamed the streets with no shelter for a week, I walked over 100 miles and saw many odd things that week. * I used to be considered gifted, but my grades dropped and I barely squeezed into K-state. * once at K-state I slowly developed an increase in my own insanity. I had a girlfriend for a tiny tiny amount of time, and I had friends, but I got wierder and wierder, and began to stay in my room all day and then walk in circles around town at night, and miss all my classes. * I stopped bathing or eating(this transitioned slowly over time) * one day, I showered, shaved, and went to a dance club, danced with this girl. She kissed me and she told me she thought i was hot, and stuff like that, and I thought she was pretty but at the end of the night I enexplicably decided to go home and never call her again. This is only one example of many examples where I hide from people. * I skipped finals to play in a magic the gathering tournament in whicita and to sleep on the side of the road and watch people. I love to observe people. I had not played MTG at all in a year so maybe thats the real reason I went. * I got prescribed new meds and made my parents cry and stuff and now I have to move out without a degree and try to live on my own but Im not sure about it.