so tired of everything.....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Call Me Useless, Jul 17, 2013.

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  1. every day I am physically tired. I was not always like this. I was a morning person (not the nauseating perky person, but friendly). Now I fall asleep daily (sometimes at my desk, mainly I hide in the bathroom and snooze).

    I am emotionally dead. I do not feel ANYTHING. Good or bad anymore. I cut to feel something....... or at least that is what I tell myself on why I started cutting. Now I cut so I feel like I am in control of at least ONE part of my life. And punching my head or slamming it into walls, desks - whatever is handy.

    I am tired of trying a med to only find out it doesnt work. I am tired of shrinks all asking the same questions. I am tired of smiling when I dont want to. I am tired of coming to work when all I really want to do is <edit mod total eclipse methods>

    I am tired of the endless bullcrap. I KNOW my family would be better off without my drama. And about $750k in insurance (I am past the no-suicide deduction periods). Plus then we would not waste time and $$ with shrinks and meds.

    i REALLY just wanna say screw it.

    I do not fit in ANYWHERE. I never have. I never will. As mom always used to say..... she wished she never had me, well so do I.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 17, 2013
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun your mom should never say things like that hun i am sorry you are in so much darkness now. You will find the right combination of meds hun please keep trying ok
    i understand cutting i do hun but you reach out ok you get the coping skills you need to stop self harming and to start healing hugs
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