This is the worst place I have ever been in in my life. I am so tired of hurting, I want to leave this world. I have always dealt with depression and I know it is hard to see past the pain right now. I know it can get better but I really don't buy it right now. 4 weeks ago, I told my husband I wanted a divorce. I realized I have lived all for him and forgotten myself, been unhappy for so long. I gave myself 4 weeks to move cross country by myself. I fell back in love with an ex-boyfriend and now I have screwed that up too. EVERYTHING hurts and I am so sick of it. People I know have lost loved ones to suicide and after that I realized it could no longer be an option for me. I feel that I have run out of options. Thinking what if I make it look like an accident? I do have pills here, just not sure they are enough. But I am alone here until at least tomorrow night maybe later. I can't kill myself, someone please help me. I don't want to hurt my family like that. I am so alone. And I never want to let anyone in again. ever. I can't deal with the constant pain and tears, I just can't. What other option is there?? I just want to be put in a coffin in the ground.