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So tired of stupid things bothering me all the time

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by sadhart, Jan 20, 2015.

  1. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    I don't know if I can explain all of this well enough for it to make sense. I went to an AA meeting this morning and when it was time to close, we got up and held hands. This one guy that was holding my hand suddenly took his hand away. I was wearing gloves because it was cold and I had to walk back to where I lived after the meeting was over. He said something to me about the gloves, but I couldn't really understand. I took my glove off or really I took off the part of the glove that protects the fingers and then he held my hand again. But when we got towards the end where they say "keep coming back" I felt resentment swell up inside of me and I just wanted to take my hand away and get out of there. But this guy, who just a moment before was acting all weird about holding my gloved hand wouldn't let go as everyone was doing the keep coming back part. I mean, he held it tight. He didn't say anything further to me after the meeting was over, but I was offended and maybe I am a sensitive person, but I just didn't like that. I walked to a meeting hoping to feel a little okay and all, and that really messed up my morning. I know I may be blaming him a bit unfairly but right now, I don't care.

    on top of that, I live in a recovery house and last month, one of the housemates decided that he wanted cable and got it installed, which I didn't like because it was just unnecessary. Well, a couple of weeks after doing that he left the program but the cable stayed on. Since then a couple of new guys have been staying in the apartment. To me, they are kind of lazy and having cable just makes that even more so. Well, last night when I got back from being out all day, I found out the cable had finally been turned off. One of the new guys' said that he was going to it get cut back on today. The thing is though this guy doesn't have a job and I don't think he has paid any of the balance on his program fees at the recovery house. So how he's managed to get money to have the cable back on is beyond me, but it's pissing me off. I'm probably not really explaining that all right, but I'm already really frustrated and so I need to stop here. Sorry for rambling.
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You're not rambling, you're venting, and that's okay. There are times that things bother me, and I'm well aware those same things wouldn't bother others in the same way. But there's nothing wrong with talking about those situations, putting it out there and getting it off your chest.
  3. smwhorses

    smwhorses Well-Known Member

    So sorry your AA meeting added to your stress rather then lessening it. I could make excuses for the guy but no matter what excuse he has it was not following the program for him to make you uncomfortable.

    Have you met anyone you would want for a sponsor? Having someone you can talk to that goes to the same meetings would really help.

    I have a hard time with people who can't feed their kids but find the money to smoke. So I do understand your frustration with the cable. All I can add it it will be thier poor life choice if they pay for it so it hopefully wont impact you.
  4. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    I have a sponsor already...and I know it was more of me just being sensitive more than anything. Still, I wish it didn't happen.

    i think of the housemates left the program....it's past curfew and he isn't here. The other guy who is still here, I have a feeling he won't be here much longer as he isn't really doing much recovery wise.
  5. turryburry

    turryburry Well-Known Member

    As far as the cable goes--if it's not in your name don't stress about it. With the AA meeting? I went to one and at the end when you hold each other's hand this person's hand was on my bra strap on my back and it freaked me out so I understand totally!
  6. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    SadHart please stay strong and complete the program. We believe in YOU.
  7. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    Thank you, I will try.