so tired of trying

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by maries, Dec 11, 2011.

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  1. maries

    maries Active Member

    i'm really scared for myself right now. i really don't want to wake up tomorrow. it's getting so much harder to live. i'm tired of being a disappointment for everyone. and i really feel like i need to do it. but i'm scared. i can't do it, but i want to. i need to. i'm so alone. and i'm' so sick of failing. i can't sleep because it'll mean i'm gonna wake up tomorrow but staying up means i might do it. i've prepared everything and i just need to do it. but i dont want to. i'm so scared
     
  2. BeingMe

    BeingMe Well-Known Member

    Dont do it, this answer is permanent and what ever the problem it isn't forever.
    Why do you feel the way you do? Whats happened in your life to get you to this point if we figure these things out maybe we can find away to deal with them maybe get rid of some of your problem.

    I'm glad you came here though, its a start.

    A lot of us here have been in your position so we can help. :hug:
     
  3. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    You're not alone, this is a community of people who care, who can encourage and support you

    We'll listen to what you have to say

    If you need to sleep, then try to, at least lay down and rest. Fatigue has a way of magnifying problems

    I hope you hang on, one of us may need you one day
     
  4. maries

    maries Active Member

    my suicidal thoughts have recently been getting worse and getting more real. for these past few months, i've been noticing that there's really no one for me to talk to anymore. people i've told and sought help from, they change after i tell them and i just didn't want my friendships with people to change just because i'm having this problem. and it's not fair for me to put them in that situation. so i've been feeling so alone. i can't talk to anyone in my family because i can't trust any of them. and this past week have just been really horrible for me. i've been stressed over finals and my dad's been really stressed too and he takes it out on me. he continuously tells me how he regrets having me and how i'm stupid and a disappointment and pretty much a waste of space. and this week i've just had enough of it. last night, i was really ready to do it, but there was a part of my brain that kept thinking about what happens after, something i wouldn't let myself think about, and i got really scared and found this forum, just needing someone to listen, needing to know that i'm not such a waste of space.

    though this morning, i regretted not doing it. fortunately, i spent a couple of hours away from home and got my head cleared and that part of me wanting so badly to end my life isn't so strong now as it was last night. i guess i just really need support to make it through.
     
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