So tired

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ADreamer, Jan 16, 2013.

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  1. ADreamer

    ADreamer Member

    I'm so tired of all this pain. No matter where I go, it's the same thing. I don't fit, I'm ignored and feel like I'm hated. Why? What's so wrong with me? My other two sisters have no problem with this. I've been the odd ball for as long as I can remember. My Mom is unaccepting, critical,and ever misguided. I have a good heart. I feel like I'm a good person. I try to be nice to people, because I don't like being mean. I work hard at my job to provide for my son. I'm terrified he is going to inherit this legacy, this curse from me.
    I'm happy for a little while, but my work is draining me. My coworkers hate me. They ignore me, and never, ever talk to me. If I talk to them, they do not look at me. They pretend as if I am not there. I have pulled people aside and asked if there is a problem. At first, I wasn't respected because I wasn't very good at my job. Now that I am, the problem is still there. I've asked, and asked, and asked, over and over again, if there's a problem. We got a new TSgt, and he treats me the same. Any suggestions, comments I may make, are brushed aside. I am ignored by him as well. I feel like no one gives a damn about me, or my son! :(
    I'm thinking about offing myself after I take my son to my Mom's next week. She raised my sisters to be popular and confident. Everyone loves them. Maybe she can do the same for him. I'll just make him into the weak, pathetic, sad creature that I am.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun have you spoken with human resources at your work let them know how you are being treated It is a form of harassment what they are doing hun and it is illegal
    Hun if you harm yourself you will only be passing on the gene of suicide to your son He will not be better off without you he will suffer all his life wandering if he was the cause of your death You hun are a good person a caring person and do not let others ignorance bring you to the point of harming yourself. Your son hun teach him when someone is suffering it is ok to reach out for help for support hun like you are doing here.
    Talk to human resource dept or someone that deals with labor relationship and see what can be done ok You are strong hun and so will your son be strong and he will love you always
     
  3. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    ADreamer, I'm sorry you are going through all that. I doubt that you are the "cause" or that you have done anything to deserve how people are treating you. You seem to be a very sensitive, caring soul - how can that be bad in any way? It's good. I think it's great that you are not a mean-spirited person! The world needs more kindness, and you are part of that. :smile:

    I'm going to guess that you a quieter person and your sisters are louder/more outgoing...Is that right? There is nothing with either style...They're just different ways of being, but louder people tend to get more attention and quieter people tend to be listeners and attention-givers. (If I'm correct, I also guess that you like more in-depth, meaningful convos, and your sisters are good at small talk. Again, it's just a style and way of being - nothing wrong with either. I'm sure there is nothing wrong with you!)

    I can relate quite a bit to being ignored by co-workers and how it feels draining. (Had my own experiences with that.) Total Eclipse is right, it might be a form of harassment. The following websites about bullying at work might give you a sense that you are not alone...and might give you some tips on how to proceed. USA: http://www.workplacebullying.org/ Canada: https://canadasafetycouncil.org/workplace-safety/bullying-workplace UK: http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/bully.htm
    Australia: http://humanrights.gov.au/bullying/factsheets/workplace_bullying.html

    Bullies at work usually pick on people who need the job and who are actually good, nice, and very competent employees - people that make the bullies feel bad about themselves in comparison. So please, know that you are a good person and have every right to make your way in the world. It's other people who are in the wrong, hun. Please stay safe. :hug:
     
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