I'm 31 and I've been "depressed" pretty much my whole life. There are brief moments of levity every once in a long while but not enough to outway the endless fog that just drags on day after day. I've been hospitalized before. I won't go back. Meds only keep me functional enough to work without sobbing throughout the day, which only furthers to prolong this state. Talk therapy is a joke. There's no joy in anything. Never has been. I don't believe in a god or the afterlife so what's the point. I'm too much of a coward to end it myself. My life doesn't matter, so if someone could end it for me I'd be most grateful.