So tired!!!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Des, Apr 26, 2007.

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  1. Des

    Des Member

    :stop: :stop:

    I am not sure if I should be posting this here but, I just need to speak to someone.

    I have posted before about my previous attempts that have been unsuccessful so, I know when I am heading for yet another attempt. I have been holding out for the sake of my family and the timing is simply just not right for me to end my life now BUT, today has been really rough for me. All I have been thinking about all day is ending it all whether it be a good time or not.

    Just to give an idea of why it is a bad time.... my mom lost her brother, her mother and then my father all in the last 6 months of last year. She is currently moving into a new home and then is going to visit my sister in Australia for 6 weeks. We (the children) bought her a plane ticket so that she can get away from everything and also just take some time to recuperate from all the happenings in her life.....if I had to end my life now, she would cancel her trip and this is something I don't want to happen BUT, the need to do it now is really overwhelming.

    I don't know why I feel like this now....nothing has happened today to make me want to speed up my plans yet, this is all I want to do. My partner is not a healthy woman and I know this would devastate her....
    I don't know how much longer I can hold on for. I don't know when this overwhelming need to die is going to be too strong for me to resist. I am just feeling very desperate at the moment.

    Thanks for listening

    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 26, 2007
  2. SoManyReasons

    SoManyReasons Member

    Honestly, I don't think there will ever be a good timefor anything. That's the sucky thing.

    I think that you can hold on. I think that it takes major guts to even post here, and that proves that you're able to carry on.

    I never know how to end my replies... but I guess all I can say is, stick around and see what happens :biggrin:
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