I am so tired all the time. It is driving me mad. I am sleeping a lot but nothing seems to work. I fell asleep yesterday and ended up being a 5 hour nap. So went to bed about 4am today as of the nap and I have only just woke up. I am constantly thinking of ways in which I can end it. I have ideas of what I can do but I dont want family knowing that I killed myself. I am so stressed at the moment and I wanna cut so bad. My arm has a massive scar on it from a few weeks ago. I dont know how I am going to be able to talk my way out of this scar when people see it. I just hope it fades in time and then can blame it on the cat! Poor cat he gets blamed for everything. I dont usually cut my arms it is usually my legs - for 2 reasons really - 1 - it hides it from other people 2- it hides it from myself. Everytme i look AT my arm I am reminded how good it felt when i did it. I am going to docs on Friday - I dont know what to tell him really - I dont know what to tell my manager at work that i have yet another doc appointment. I think I may have to be honest with him and tell him in not so many details. Just say I was having panic and anxiety attacks and my medication needs to be monitored regulary and that I had had a phone call from my doc as was supposed to go last week. I dont know though as I dont really want people to know. I dont want him knowing that something is going on and dont want any special treatment as of it all. I was going to send him copies of what I had written on here but then had problems with compatibility of programe that use. I suppose I will just have to wait and see what he says on Friday.