I'm just so tired right now. Everyday seems exactly the same, I go to work all day and most of the evening, I get home with about an hour or two left to myself and I'm just so shattered. If it wasnt so depressing it would be comical how pointless it all is. Why do I do this? Just because carrying on is the thing we're supposed to do... Just because. I've spent my whole adult life trying to be positive, create meaning in my life, be normal. But I'm not, and I dont want to keep on trying when this will never end. It's like going everywhere dressed in a clown suit - you know what a fake you look like and how foolish you look, but you have to just carry on anyway because its whats expected of you. I'm so tired of it all, I just want to go to sleep and never have to wake up again.