I'm so tired of feeling lost and useless. My kids are estranged. I want to reenter the work force, but this is a lousy time for it. I'm not sure that I married the right person, although that may well be the BPD/depression talking. I'm unhappy with where I live, but it's my wife's home, plus there's only one other state in which I could get health insurance. I feel stuck and trapped. I'm doing some things to retrain myself, but my self-confidence isn't exactly high. I apply for jobs that I'd be great at, but I voluntarily withdrew from the work force for 10 years after my late wife passed away so that I could raise my kids. So I never hear back from the employers. It's hard to be 54 and starting over. Every day, I look over job ads and read until I can start watching television at 7p. I watch the tube until 10-11, then take a sleeping pill. I usually force myself out of the house in the afternoon so that I don't spend the whole day on the couch reading and sleeping. Blah blah blah... Such self-pity. I guess I'm losing my self-respect, too.