So tired...

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by SaraRose, Jun 3, 2011.

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  1. SaraRose

    SaraRose Well-Known Member

    I just don't know what to do. I don't...I just don't know anymore.

    I'm tired of feeling like this, of feeling like nothing is ever going to change. It's funny I can hide how I feel around others. I can smile on cue and talk. But inside I still feel so worn out and tired.

    I work 5 days a week the 3-11 shift. I have to to make ends meet and pay my bills. So it leaves me with no chance of trying to find stuff to do most days. My days off I can't get the energy to do anything. Plus now I have no freakin idea what I wanna do for fun.

    At work I deal with rumors about me- rumors that have been going around since I started there a year ago. It was hard starting there, I'm the youngest with my degree, was a newbie and quiet so everyone spread rumors and even after PROVING myself, I still hear them.

    It makes me wanna cry. Makes me wanna come home and either just sleep all the time or drink myself stupid. I don't have any friends here. They all left me when I graduated.

    I'm in pain all the time and my doctor says the only surgery is one I can't afford and it may disable me, so he wants to wait. And the neverending pain depresses me anymore since when I DO wanna do something I just stay home writhing with pain.

    I...I just don't know anymore. I feel like I'm in this never ending circle of pain and lonelyness. I try to pull myself out but I always come back to this damn circle. And I really don't know how much longer I can stay in this circle.
  2. the masked depressant

    the masked depressant Well-Known Member

    awww sarah

    sorry you are feeling like that...

    welcome hun- i hope you can at least feel safe on here
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