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so upset

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by White Dove, Jul 20, 2011.

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  1. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    I am so upset and all i do is try and help my family out because i actually have a heart.
    well DHS was called on mary ( my brothers wife ) and the person who called did so anon. and said that mary was doing drugs and that she was giving it to sav. well the DHS worker came out and did a drug test on mary and sav. mary had a lot of drugs in her system, meth, crack, marjunia, etc. sav had 2 in her system, dont know what all sav had in her system. well they tell them to have the trailer fixed and they will re test in 2 weeks. well that retest comes up this friday. anyhow sav new boyfriend has a truck and he has to jump start it up so he had backed up to the trailer in the back that we have not yet had a chance to fix or hook it up to load up the plywood i had bought for the trailer to fix it up and i let chris get a few sheets of the plywood, well he starts to start the truck up and forgot it was in reverse so he when he starts it up it jumps backwords and knocks the front door back and into the trailer plus knocks the blocks loose from under it ( and we had just paid a guy 1800 dollars to set it up and tie it down ) well he tells me he will fix it by friday. well i belive him and trust him, friday comes and it is not fixed, well we go up there saturday and get the door fixed where it will at least open, then the guy ( his name is frank ) wel he comes up on my porch and tells me he is going to go fix it the door and all sunday so i tell him i fixed the door and that he just needs to fix the blocks so he says he will cause he has a jack. well he dont so this evening he comes over and i walk over and ask him if he fixed the trailer and he said no so i then say well can you have it fixed by 48 hours, then sav. starts running her mouth and jumping on me about it. i mean the guy done it but yet she curses me out so i start back to the house and she slams the trailer door ( so chris just had fixed the door so i tell her not to be slaming the door and she says well its our ..... door. so on that smart remark i say in return its my ........ land and walk back over. as i am walking back she starts saying that i am just mad because they didn't help me out with food again this month $100 dollars worth. she thinks i am mad. i am not mad. i am more hurt and upset then mad because i help them out so dang much. the lights is still in my name that they are using. they are using my well water, they are having a roof over their head and would be hurting if it wasnt for me. i mean i went into debt for them, gave them 40 dollars yesterday so they could buy food. well anyhow sav and her friend frank leave and then go and tell mary and chris that i said they had to get out by tonight. which i never said, well mary comes in and they are sitting out in the car so i just go out and talk to her and chris and then find out they tell me sav said they had to get out ASAP etc. mary said shes tired of all the drama i mean geese all i did was ask the guy to fix what he torn up by a simple accident and i got jumped on...

    i am so upset and hurt right now. all i do is try to help and i get hurt. i guess i just got too much dang soft heart. i am crying so dang much right now. i just want to go asleep and never wake up. and i even said prayers for sav. she is just 17 and my niece and i love her and now she is mad at me because all i did was ask her friend to fix something he did and said he would fix it back because it was an accident. i just want to go to sleep and never wake up ever again
  2. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    why is it? when you really need to talk to someone no ones there for ya?

    guess i really am worthless?
  3. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    This sounds tricky, like they are embarrassed about how much you are helping them. Can you have a sit-down with all concerned and talk over the situation?

    Please do not do anything rash, you are a wonderful caring person, giving them money when they need it.
  4. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    windlepoons, sorry i was not on here when you replied i went to facebook and read some things online. thank you for your kind words! I did talk to my brother and his wife when they were in their car and told them i did not tell them they had to get out. I am not a mean person and i have done so much to help them. So much so that last year i went into debt for them. My brother still was out of work at the time and had only 1 truck. his tranny went out so i pawned my van title for 400 dollars to buy him a used tranny at pull a parts out of knoxville. he got his truck running and finaly got a job at the local hickory plant on a temp to hire basis. they started him out at 8 dollars and something an hour. right after 6 month he got hired on full time by the hickory plant. it was getting close to winter and he had just started getting 10 dollars an hour working full time and they did not have a stove, so i again pawned my car this time my car to my subaru. pawned its title for 300 to get him a wood stove so they would not freeze. he said he would help me out when he got his income tax refund but did not help me at all and i even asked him if i could borrow 250 dollars and he said no. now i was stuck with 2 car title loans on me and my lirttle amount of income is very hard to pay all my bills, well up untiol 2 months ago he had helped me with food but just desided not to any more. which really hurts me because now i have 2 payments that i have to pay on for another 7 months and the other onme another 12 months, plus my land payment has went up 50 dollars which is now over 200 per month.

    i gave him a mobile home, hooked the lights up to it because he couldnt get it in his name, the lights are still in my name, he is using my well water and not paying a thing to me, yet tells everyone and welfair he pays me 450 per month! he brings home 500 or more per week, yet now i am struggling and having to once again take a backseat on getting my bigger mobile entrance pole and getting it hooked up and all because i went into debt for him and his family.

    i love them and it really is hitting me hard and i am in pain. his daughter sav. even told me tonight before my brother and his wife got back that when they move i will lose my brother meaning he don;'t give a care for me at all and saying i will lose him and never see him again and it is killing me right now. it is killing me because i have so much love for them and they don't even realize what all i have done for them. I know just how jesus felt because he did all he could for all of us and we all killed him!

    they will soon realize just how it will feel to lose me!
  5. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    No problem!
    That does sound like they are using you a bit, abusing your giving nature.
    Can you add up what you have done for him, and what he has said he pays you, and tell them? Or just stop them using things you pay for?

    It sounds like they are a little out of touch with reality.
  6. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    gosh, if i was to add it all up it would probably be enough to buy a brand new home. My guess is that they just don't realize what i do for them :dry: I know for a fact he would not do all that for me, yet because i have such a kind caring heart i always give in because i care you know? and i always get hurt. right now i just want to move far away from them and everyone else! i know if i do it will hurt them but i can't take this emotional abuse nor can i be around someone who i try every way to help, give of all my love and time and get hurt time upon time. And it's not only that but i will hear so many people tell me they talk about me like a dog behind my back, and i don't doubt that because i have actualy witnessed them talk about their friends one day when they are with me and their friends not around, and the next day they are buddy buddy with their friends. Right now my subaru car is torn up and i have asked my brother to fix it like a zillion times and even had to call another person from a nearby town i knew to come fix it which he did or so we thought but i guess he didn't know how to fix the wire cause it shorted out my alternator and now it sits torn up.

    there is so many things i have done for them and did without. I am still living in this dinky 1967 camper because i have helped them out so many times. if i had not helped them out i probably would be right now in my 2 bedroom 12x70 mobile, now its gonna take me longer to fix it because the roof is now leaking and falling in it, now i have to repay someone again to reset the dang thing up because of the accident that guy friend of my nieces did and all. and all i have ever done was be kind and help them. i am just not gonna talk to them anymore. if they say something to me i will just knod my head and go on. i am throw being hurt by them. I am looking for another place to live and hopfully i can obtain another place then i am gone! they are realying too much upon me and maybe its time they realize just how much i helped them, and if i cant obtain another place or move then i am outta here for good!

    thanks for replying to me! take care!
  7. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I am so sorry that this has happened to you White Dove. Really truely sucks when you care about people and they just take advantage of you. You sound like a lovely caring person. It is time they learned to stand on their own two feet but it is difficult to know how to get them to listen. If you need a chat you can always PM. Take care hun big hugs to you xxxx
  8. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Its good that you realise they are using you, and I wish you luck! Remeber to tell us how you get on.

    There are folk like that all over, who just take and take.
  9. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    just wanted to pop in and say i am ok! Sorry i was not on yesterday but dang internet and phone went down and had to wait until frontier fixed the dang thing, and they still havent come to put my phone jack in living in yet, dang slow pokes.

    anyhow just wanted to pop in and let all know i am okay. it is after 4 am now and i had to catch up on surveys and all and dad has doc appointmenmt today so i got to get in bed

    and for some dang reason i got a warning that i was blaming others in chat, heck i wasnt blaming anyone but appeartly someone took it that way so if i offened i am sorry.
  10. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Good to hear you are happier.

    Hope your fathers appointment goes well.
  11. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    butterfly thanks for the reply above.

    windlepoons, dad made it to doc and has bad vision really badly. has to have cateract surgery to repair and take off the cateract so he can see. he cant see anything out his left eye and on his right eye he has small vision so hopfully the surgery will work out for him and he can see much butter. he has to see doc aug. 17 to pre schedual his surgery .
  12. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    My best wishes to your Father.
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