So very numb atm....trigger

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Invisible Child, Aug 5, 2014.

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  1. Invisible Child

    Invisible Child Antiquities Friend

    I don't even know where to begin this post honestly so I'm just gonna jump right into it. I have not cut in over a week, not because I haven't wanted to but because I was in a place that I couldn't. Now, sitting home alone (because I have no clue where the kids and my husband are) trying to control what I did, pissed at myself because I did this again because of a flashback that I can't get out of my head. I at this point do not know if I am in a crisis situation or if I am just about ready to have a nervous meltdown. I want to continue to cut until there is not a place left on my body that hasn't been.

    I have tried once again to call my therapist and still no call back. I honestly wish that I had insurance then I could find one that I trusted and one that I felt like was actually listening to what I am saying, not just sitting there shaking her head and taking notes. I'm not asking for much, just someone to listen, who I feel has my back, that I can trust.... I do not think that I am asking for to much. Or am I crazy in thinking that I am actually important enough for that? I have never been important in my life, why should things change now? I honestly need someone to talk with because that urge to cut is in my lap but if I do again I do not honestly know if I could stop at this point. :frusty::pullinghair::sorry::disturbed:
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You are important and you do deserve care and compassion and i hope for YOU that you can get rid of your tool of harm and leave the place you are at and get outside ok
    Remove yourself from the pain your are in by changing where you are at I know that sound so crazy but it works get outside ok go for a walk put on some music or the tv and get yourself distracted Hope your therapist is able to call you back soon Just know you are heard ok and i am sorry you are suffering so
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