So what do you all make of this?

[Hopeiseverything]

I actually had about 2 hours today where I felt relatively ‘normal’ .... no thoughts of self harm, etc. wrapped a few Christmas gifts, took a walk, etc. Now I am right to back to how I started the day....waiting to go to bed to stop the chatter in my head. Any thoughts....

 

[may71]

Sorry that you're back to feeling bad.

It definitely seems like you've got some kind of rapid-cycling mood disorder. Are you any closer to getting a formal diagnosis?

Are you keeping a mood journal? Do you feel a particular way at a particular time of day?

 

[Dante]

Our minds are largely contextual, maybe you accidently fell into an old rhythm probably due to Christmas, where most of your past experience relating to that were normal, and as a result, the strongest pathways and thought patterns in your mind for processing these tasks and events and contexts are normal thought patterns, not depressed ones, so for a time, you felt normal.

That's my best guess.

 

[Hopeiseverything]

Sorry that you're back to feeling bad.

It definitely seems like you've got some kind of rapid-cycling mood disorder. Are you any closer to getting a formal diagnosis?

Are you keeping a mood journal? Do you feel a particular way at a particular time of day?

It is rapid cycling for sure. No, I am no closer. When I met with my dr a few weeks ago he wanted me to take 2 more weeks of the ocd med that I am on and we are scheduled to meet on monday to discuss. Not sure what can be done but all I know is I do not see a future being like this. It is no way to ‘live’....

 

[may71]

If you knew what condition you've got, you'd at least know what you're up against, and maybe be able to find folks with the same condition and be able to have some discussion about it. Hopefully a diagnosis would lead to better treatment though.

I hope things can get better soon

 

[Hopeiseverything]

If you knew what condition you've got, you'd at least know what you're up against, and maybe be able to find folks with the same condition and be able to have some discussion about it. Hopefully a diagnosis would lead to better treatment though.

I hope things can get better soon

Well if i have ptsd, Ocd, anxiety and depression. I just do not understand how one minute (and sometimes one day or at least half of it) I can feel ok and then feel like crap the next. It is insane. Like right now I want to run to a hospital.....

 

[may71]

I don't understand it either. I know there are conditions though where someone can be in a manic state, then switch to a depressed state, but it usually doesn't cycle that fast.

 

[Hopeiseverything]

I don't understand it either. I know there are conditions though where someone can be in a manic state, then switch to a depressed state, but it usually doesn't cycle that fast.

Yes, I know....from what I understand those types of mood swings do not cycle from one day or moment to the next. Only thing that calms me when I am like this is a benzo and we all know how bad those are. I really should be in a hospital....I have so much ‘wrong’ with me.

 

[may71]

Any one of the conditions you've got would be hard to deal with on it's own, but it's even harder having all of them together

 

[lost_in_a_fairytale]

sorry
I've had that, am relatively fine and productive and even upbeat then a few hours I've felt really upset and overwhelmed and suicidal, then I'm fine the next day, then it comes back to being awful later in the day. At one point in my life I had that routine for months, or maybe even the whole year, can't remember exactly and it was exhausting.

Hope you feel better soon

 

[may71]

At one point in my life I had that routine for months, or maybe even the whole year, can't remember exactly and it was exhausting.

Did it just get better on its own? Did you ever get a diagnosis?

 

[lost_in_a_fairytale]

Did it just get better on its own? Did you ever get a diagnosis?

Funnily enough I remember posting about it on here when I was going through it (I think this was about 6 years ago) and someone suggested I go to a dr and ask about meds to stabilize my moods but no I never went to a doctor. I just assumed it was part of depression/anxiety and recovering from hurtful things that had happened in my life back then. It did get better on it's own eventually, finally settled down to me feeling calmer and ok, and then as more months went on I was able to feel happy again

 

[Hopeiseverything]

Thank you for answering everyone and for showing concern. I also have a less than appealing autoimmune disease that is creating havoc within me. I am doomed.
’Good’ to know though that someone else went through this and is still here to talk about it. I am not sure I will be in a few years but who knows....its messed up,

 

[may71]

Thank you

You're welcome!

I also have a less than appealing autoimmune disease that is creating havoc within me

You're welcome to say more about that if you'd like

 

[lost_in_a_fairytale]

Thank you for answering everyone and for showing concern. I also have a less than appealing autoimmune disease that is creating havoc within me. I am doomed.
’Good’ to know though that someone else went through this and is still here to talk about it. I am not sure I will be in a few years but who knows....its messed up,

I have an autoimmune disease too actually, extra pain isnt it that's one thing I didn't have years ago but now do so have more reason to be stressed if my mental health is bad, I can end up triggering my disease to make me severely ill too. You can make it through, it is so hard I know, but it's not impossible. I'm not quite in the same scenario at the moment but I also feel like I dont know how I'm supposed to make it through this part of life, we have to keep going somehow

 

[Hopeiseverything]

I have an autoimmune disease too actually, extra pain isnt it that's one thing I didn't have years ago but now do so have more reason to be stressed if my mental health is bad, I can end up triggering my disease to make me severely ill too. You can make it through, it is so hard I know, but it's not impossible. I'm not quite in the same scenario at the moment but I also feel like I dont know how I'm supposed to make it through this part of life, we have to keep going somehow

The rapid cycling is freaking me out. If I do not get that under control I am doomed for sure. Perhaps Monday be can suggest something else. My story is very complex. I was relatively ‘normal’ for numerous years after a verbally abusive childhood. Went on to be successful, have great kids, outstanding husband, money, etc....yet trauma changed all that and I am now one screwed up mess. I am 63. Used to love to shop, cook, etc.....Now I exist day to day...it stinks.

 

[Hopeiseverything]

I have an autoimmune disease too actually, extra pain isnt it that's one thing I didn't have years ago but now do so have more reason to be stressed if my mental health is bad, I can end up triggering my disease to make me severely ill too. You can make it through, it is so hard I know, but it's not impossible. I'm not quite in the same scenario at the moment but I also feel like I dont know how I'm supposed to make it through this part of life, we have to keep going somehow

Do you take meds?

 

[lost_in_a_fairytale]

The rapid cycling is freaking me out. If I do not get that under control I am doomed for sure. Perhaps Monday be can suggest something else. My story is very complex. I was relatively ‘normal’ for numerous years after a verbally abusive childhood. Went on to be successful, have great kids, outstanding husband, money, etc....yet trauma changed all that and I am now one screwed up mess. I am 63. Used to love to shop, cook, etc.....Now I exist day to day...it stinks.

I'm so sorry. Trauma is so damaging and hard to recover from isnt it. Although I haven't had textbook trauma I have been traumatized by some things so can relate to an extent.

Do you take meds?

you mean for mental health or physical health? neither. I should be on meds for my disease but the hospital never followed up my diagnosis and so many bad things happened in my life since then I've not really had a chance to chase them up. I was finally meant to get it sorted this year...... then covid happened and appointment cancelled

 

[may71]

then covid happened and appointment cancelled

A lot of doctors are offering tele-medicine appointments. In principle, face-to-face appointments could be available too, but they just haven't followed up with you.

You really shouldn't have to chase them to get medical care, but all too often, the system just fails.

 

[lost_in_a_fairytale]

A lot of doctors are offering tele-medicine appointments. In principle, face-to-face appointments could be available too, but they just haven't followed up with you.

You really shouldn't have to chase them to get medical care, but all too often, the system just fails.

Yeah they are but I have social anxiety and find it hard enough even talking face to face nevermind phone calls, I find them even worse so I'll just delay it until next year or whenever things are back to normal. I wouldn't want to go to an appointment right now anyway, my hospital had an outbreak of covid lately from their staff not doing things correctly so I don't fancy going there and risking getting ill.

But yes, it is annoying. They were supposed to contact me within 6 weeks..... that was 3 years ago