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So what next??? help dammit LOL

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Bluerogue, Aug 19, 2010.

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  1. Bluerogue

    Bluerogue Member


    I am crazy lost these days and to be honest I am looking for a more "pro' forum. There is an article in Harvard business review that sort of describes my life:


    I was a software engineer and in my first "lul' walked on to a minor league football team and won a national championship. I keep finding my self in these cycle s of lul and excelling. the problem is that I am feeling old and well to be honest I am ready to die.

    I am 38 and my body is spent, and everyone knows the best academic work is done before 30 (don't get me wrong I have my share in there :).

    I know what suicide does to survivors and I am prepared to wait until my parents pass. Still, it is hard to get excited about the future. A bit like; When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer. I have gone as far as I can go and my insurance is more valuable than me LOL.

    So, what is my question since this is not a "pro' forum?

    I have 2 actually...

    1) Where can I find a "pro" forum

    2) Why do so many consider it wrong to end life even if there has been a benefit to society at large?


  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    there has been many people in their 90s that have contributed greatly to this world both intellectually and emotionally who says this crap about age anyways I have met so many intellectual brilliant people long after they reach 40 yrs old shit you are just starting to get your game on then. sorry just what i see.
  3. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi Bluerogue. I think the real question is why would someone who has accomplished so much in his life want to commit suicide? Has something tragic occurred in your life? It seems to me like you are considering suicide because you feel like you have accomplished all that you want to accomplish in your life and see no point to continue living? Have you tried helping the less fortunate by volunteering your time? You might find that pretty rewarding.
  4. Bluerogue

    Bluerogue Member

    Dave, Thanks for responding ... actually thanks to everyone for responding.

    I understand that folks are 'useful until their 90's' I also get the whole volunteer thing.

    The question is not about what more I can give. I was there when the internet began. I worked on some of the foundations SW used to connect PCs to the vast internet that was only accessible to UNIX and x-terminals at the time in the early 90s. Physically, I pushed myself to the limits and earned something very special with my teammates. i am to bragging or trying to be arrogant but I feel I have pushed myself to the limits already.

    What I am looking for is a dignified way out before I become a burden on anyone.

    I have seen <and done things> that you people would not believe......

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