So what went wrong with this girl?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by wibble, Oct 21, 2008.

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  1. wibble

    wibble Well-Known Member

    Right, long story short, theres this girl i really like at work. Was getting quite mixed signals off her (Which is odd because I look like a toad and she's quite cute). Signals were stuff like her demanding I sat next to her, quite strong eye contact, playing with her hair, the usual stuff.

    So I ask her out, she says yes, I think "Result!!!"

    I arrange for us to go bowling, thought its a nice fun date, very little pressure and quite a nice environment.

    She calls me up the day before and says "Im not sure what your intentions are but I'm already going out with someone so I think its best I don't go with you"

    Fair enough, Im a monster, I can deal with that, what I dont understand is:

    1: Why did she agree to go out with me then drop me at the last minute? Why couldnt she just be straight up with me?

    2: What the hell do I do now? This was the first girl I've asked out in 15 months because my confidence is through the floor. There are no other girls where I work who have expressed any sort of interest in me, Im well entrenched in the "friends zone" with all of them.

    3: What do you do about idiots who give you little platitudes of advice like "theres someone for everyone" and "it'll happen someday" yet when asked for any practical help (ie: Introduce me to one of your friends), they don't bother.
     
  2. bleach

    bleach Well-Known Member

    1. Possibilities:
    A. She first thought you just wanted to be friends, realized that you are attracted to her and she does not share the attraction, decided to call it off to avoid leading you on.
    B. She was intending to cheat on/dump her boyfriend and changed her mind.
    C. She's crazy.

    I can't think of anything you did wrong though. You asked her out, she said yes(!), and then she backed off. Whatever the problem was, it was her deal, not yours.

    2. It sucks being rejected but there's really no way to avoid it besides never trying at all. How about feeling proud of the fact that you actually asked her in the first place? You can't control how she feels about you, so there is no use in beating yourself up over that.

    3. Do nothing. Not worth making a big deal about well-intentioned idiots that really only want to cheer you up.
     
  3. noplacetogo

    noplacetogo Well-Known Member

    Reading this the first time, I suspected that she is possibly crazy but I'm thinking now, maybe she thought you were asking her out as a friend, as in hanging out and doing friend stuffs, then after you set up the date, she realized you thought it was a date so she wanted to let you know she didn't mean to say 'yes' to a date.

    About the mixed signals, some girls are flirtatious by 'nature' so the signals you were getting might've just been the way she acts to everyone. Or she could've just been trying to get your attention because she enjoys attention from men. Either way, it looks as if she's not interested, so my best advice would be to just cut your losses and forget about her.

    And like bleach said, you should feel proud about having the courage to ask her out. some guys can't even get that far. The fact that you did it and it didn't kill you means you can do it again, and the second time around won't hurt as bad. I can't give any practical advice about where to meet girls or anything like that unfortunately, (i'm a hermit and a girl myself) but it shows strength of character when you can put yourself out there and survive rejection.
     
  4. wumpscut741

    wumpscut741 Member

    i was going out with this girl a few weeks ago.
    she did basicly the same thing, but dumped me and said she wanted to be friends, we are still friends but it fucking sucks to be me
     
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