So, what's the deal with fetishes?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Kunera, Jun 18, 2009.

  1. Kunera

    Kunera Well-Known Member

    I know, they're not the rarest thing out there, but still, it just depends on the fetish.

    I didn't really think much of it when I was little, but I've had a few that, looking back, I can see several early signs of them developing as I grew up.

    I don't know what to say about them, really, other than, "why?"
    It just seems like they've caused nothing but trouble for me, and almost tainted me as a person, actually.

    It just depends on who I'm talking to about it. Some people can make them seem like the most natural things in the world, while others can make you feel like you're of a different species over it. Opinions are funny things, aren't they?

    It's just one of those things that, if I had the choice, I would've completely removed from my life.

    So yeah, what's the deal with fetishes? Some people like 'em, some people feel like they're cursed by them, like me!
  2. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    I definately have one and other than it being kind of awkward by nature I'm fine with it.
  3. Carcinogen

    Carcinogen Well-Known Member

    I find that only letting people I kind of trust know about it usually works. If they can't handle it, then it's their problem, their opinion, and they can either leave, or avoid commenting. I think pretty much everyone has some fetish or another, so maybe they just feel insecure about their own. If they feel the need to share their disapproval at your fetish, then you could always poke fun at them for being vanilla...?
  4. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    I am kinky and proud... There is nothing even remotely abnormally about having a fetish or two. I recently got a completely sexually conservative friend of mine to admit she's into bondage ^_^

    Personally, it bugs me when girls are into no fetishes whatsoever. "OMG, that hurts, that's uncomfortable, that's gross! Stick it in the right hole and move it slowly!" [Fortunately, this is relatively rare. Usually they're into a couple naughty things, unless they're really prissy.]
  5. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    I think a lot are developed in childhood. For instance if a boy spends a lot of time around his mother's feet, he can develop a foot fetish.
  6. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    I don't really see how that would work...

    That's kinda like the whole homosexuality is caused by overbearing mothers arguement.

    I once read that it's believed foot fetishim is cause by neural crosstalk between the feet and genitals because they have adjacent places in the somatosensory cortex.
  7. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    No, I certainly agree with the childhood one. Not necessarily that example iloveyou proposed... But the feet are fetishized in fashion, in culture. From Pulp Fiction to stilettos, feet received an inordinate amount of attention, far more than hands, say. Feet are expected to be covered in most of the western world, shoes are by far the norm... Bare feet become a taboo of sorts. Even some homes have the feet as basically taboo with socks enforced. Sex is a natural extension of this.

    Oh, and I suppose my bisexual leanings are indeed the result of the extremely abnormal relationship with my mother.
  8. Kunera

    Kunera Well-Known Member

    Whenever I find my significant other, I've been counting on the fact that she'll have a fetish or two herself, otherwise I'll end up feeling like a fish out of water, really. The only people I've ever been able to comfortably discuss fetishes with were, well, people that have a few themselves, because they're much less judgmental, usually.

    Maybe one day I'll be able to find a not-so-awkward way to incorporate them into a relationship.
  9. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Almost everyone has a fetish or two. If the person is interesting at all, in my experience, they have a nasty fetish, but many are shy about it.
  10. merk_erm

    merk_erm New Member

    I have a fetish and actually told my girlfriend who does not have a fetish. It worked out well because now she indulges it. It's a lot better to just accept it and live your life.
  11. Kunera

    Kunera Well-Known Member

    Good to hear things worked out like that for you! I'm hoping that one day, the same will work for me, but honestly, I'm still too self-conscious about myself to mention fetishes to anyone I know personally.
  12. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    i have a fetish but it took me until this month to realize it.
    but i think that everyone has one or two, they just don't realize it until it actually happens.
  13. Kunera

    Kunera Well-Known Member

    I'd like to think that, but sometimes, it just seems like most people are way too boring, if you ask me.

    I've known about mine since, I don't know, I was around 10-11, actually.
  14. prichardson

    prichardson Account Closed

    I completely agree with this from my own personal view. Nothing too depressing, but my backside is marked for life from when I was a kid... Guess what, I actually made a decent living from letting people beat my backside throughout my later teens and early 20's. I loved it, and I hated it... Still not sure of what I feel about it, but it was a big part of my life.
  15. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    i used to enjoy suicide girls... not anymore though
  16. MUtE

    MUtE Well-Known Member

    Umm..if this is valgur sorry.
    Some people don't get off with just sex and a bit of foreplay,
    Some people just need more and sometimes weird things :/
    Uhh liek a male gynocologist, for example, he sees a females
    Private everyday he works, so when he goes home to his girl :/
    He's used to seeing it that it doesn't turn him on as much as it would
    To someone who isn't a gynocologist, so they would looking for something
    That turns them on, some might be oh kay but some are liek...o_O seriously?

    Well, my point is that some people do it so much that it doesn't turn them on anymore
    So they look for something that does, so they can. That's what I think atleast.

    Me I just liek bitting and being bit ^.^ lol I hope that's not weird tho.
  17. triggs

    triggs Account Closed

    loads of men have this thing where they think all women are prude or not very exciting for some reason - maybe it stems from them being insecure about themselves and their own fetishes, i don't know.
    i think, almost everyone probably has some sort of fetish (i certainly know what mine is :tongue:) and people shouldn't be embarrassed to explore them a little. sometimes, when introducing it to someone else, you might want to ease it a little, perhaps if it's a foot fetish, maybe say you like giving massages instead of licking their feet first of all... it's all about trust reall :)
  18. Menchi

    Menchi Well-Known Member

    Screw it, i'm in a reckless mood right now so i'll reply.

    I am, unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your point of view), rather a sexual deviant (to put it nicely)... Its something i'm totally embarassed about, but i can't help really... I think part of it is the differences which occur between everyone, the sort of things people are or aren't attracted to, but that its most often something more than that which turns a general preference, to a fetish, or means that someone develops these feelings.

    The truth is, due to my... well uselessness in relationships, and never feeling comfortable sexually (and having only long term relationships), its never something i got to experience often, so most of my fetishes have been fantasies. My current gf knows about it, and isn't keen on them mostly, though i think she doesn't quite get the idea of them in the first place, except in the most general way. All i know is that it is something i've very much tried to hide, and i think only ever discussed with 2 or 3 people in my life, mostly through embarassment, but partly because i don't want to be thought badly of because of them.
  19. Rose24

    Rose24 Chat & Forum Buddy

    As a small child I was abused and my abuser used to ask me to suck on his fingers. Strangely enough I enjoy licking and sucking my partner’s hands, once would think that childhood abuse would have had the opposite effect. Something to do with familiarity I guess.
  20. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    I have a looks fetish.

    Most people justify it by saying 'oh it's an attraction, not a fetish. You can't help your attractions', but I don't think it is just that simple because I ALWAYS go for guys who look this way.

    If someone stood several, different looking yet equally attractive men, in a line up in front of me, I'd pick out the goth looking guy every time. It is totally a looks fetish I think, especially if you avidly seek them out above anybody else.