Twenty years now, twenty bloody long stupid years. I was nine when I first hurt myself. Didn't have a clue what it was all about at the time, just when I burnt myself my mates thought it was tough, made me feel cool. Now twenty years have past and I'm stuffed. I can't go to the beach, can't take my shirt off, can't have a relationship with a girl as they really do freak out when they see me naked, don't blame them, I'd feak out if I was with a girl who looked like me. I can explain away the cuts on my face as a car accident and people believe that. The chest, legs and arms people don't see, so that's not a really big deal. I've just finished cleaning up my new habbit. Now I can't stop cutting my skull. I have a shaved head and for some dumb reason now every time I shave my head I have to cut it. When do you quit? How many years have to pass before you realise that it just isn't going to change? I don't expect it to get worse or better, just to keep being the way it is. I've got a .308 Twenty years of shit. It could just end in a muzzle flash. I don't want to die, don't think I really ever have wanted to. But life just keeps going on the way it always has. I have no doubts whatsoever that there is no life after death, so after that one shot it would be all over. I wouldn't have to spend another twenty years hoping that life will change. One click and peace.