I've always felt like I've been a pretty hollow person. I've also heard that one of my problems is that I can't be intimate with myself, which probably has a lot to do with that. My existence is pretty pointless, being that I do pretty much whatever my superiors in life want me to do. Schoolwork from teachers, chores from parents, etc. When I'm not doing that, I'm probably playing video games, or not really doing anything productive. Then again, I have a hard time believing anything I do is productive, as I can't seem to believe that anything will matter whenever I inevitably face death. So my plan for trying to feel some sort of purpose in life was to try to find a girl, to cherish her, and do everything in my power to make her happy. Maybe then I could find happiness, or at least cover up the fact that I'm not finding any fulfillment in life. Thing is, girls just aren't interested in someone like me. If anything, they'll want to be friends, but never any closer. Why? Because I'm a doormat, so to speak. Nobody wants a spineless partner that just lets them walk all over them all the time. I've yet to meet anyone interested in such a person, and I doubt I ever will. As far as I've seen, a guy like me, the kind of person that's more of the shy, submissive type, is just plain SOL. You'd think that maybe, for every guy like me, there's a more outspoken, dominant girl to complement us, right? From what I've seen, no. There's the more shy, submissive girls that just probably couldn't get an emotional connection with someone so similar in that way, and the girls that are strong enough to be dominant simply don't need such a weak guy at their side, right? They probably want an equally strong, if not stronger guy instead. And where does that leave me in the equation? Nowhere. My one reason I could think of that would make it all worthwhile is pretty much thrown out the window. So, why should I live again?