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So worried...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by RainbowChaser, Jun 28, 2007.

  1. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    I'm worried about so many people right now. I guess at times that it's all that keeps me human. But right now, it's just too overwhelming. Letting it out might just help a little I guess, so here goes...

    1. I know things aren't right for you right now, please don't pretend that they are. You worry me less when you tell me these things. Did I ever tell you about Julia? Things were bad for her too, then suddenly she started acting like the world was okay. She had me fooled. She died two weeks later. And that's why you worry me sometimes, cos you just start acting like everything's okay. And I can't stand the idea of loosing you. You mean too much to too many people. You mean too much to me :hug: And if you don't believe that then you really are a muppet :tongue:

    2. I wish you weren't so stressed right now. And I hate seeing you so hurt. Yes, us women are as confusing as sin, and love hurts like nothing else, but give it time - it'll resolve itself one way or another. I woke up this morning and realised that, even tho I care for him greatly, I don't love my ex any more. It's taken me over a year. Even if it takes you 10 years for this to sort itself out one way or another, I will be there for you through this, even if all I can do is scare away the scary women for you. I won't leave you to deal with this alone, so don't you dare leave me either :cheekkiss

    3. I'm worried about whether you can deal with all this. I know you miss her so much, and I'm scared that there's nothing I can do to ease that, even by just the smallest bit. Please don't be afraid to come to me. I want to help you through this the best I can. I know that it's not much, but I'm here to listen anytime. And I really mean that :rose:

    4. I miss you, I really do. I so hope you're okay. Out of everyone I'm worried about, you're the one who's safest right now, but even knowing that hasn't made it any easier, on any of us. Is it selfish of us to want you back, when you're getting so much help now? It feels so weird without you here :unsure:

    5. I wish you were here. Are you telling anyone how you feel anymore? And I don't mean that evil therapist of yours, that doesn't count, I'm not sure she even counts as human :dry: If you read this, please don't be afraid to come to me for help, I'm always here for you. :missyou:

    6. I know you're naturally quiet, so when you told m how down you were the other day, it was a shock. But you haven't said anything about it since, and I'm worried. Did you believe a word we said to you? You deserve her so much, as she does you, do you believe that or are you just holding these feelings in again? What can I do to help you through this if you won't tell me? :mellow:

    7. I really hope you're happy, but please don't take on too much at once - you're juggling so much right now that I know I wouldn't be able to cope. If you need me, I'm here, really :flowers:

    To top it all off, I'm worried about me too. The mood swings are getting horrendous. I have to see the doctor about some stuff today, and I'm dreading that it might be the nasty doctor who's in today.

    PS: I'm not telling anyone who any of these are aimed at, so don't ask.
    PSS: There are more people than this, but I can't get everything into order to explain everything.
  2. :hug:
    I hope you feel better soon.
  3. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    Now I'm panicking about the doctors. I wish I had someone who could come with me and help me, but I have no-one. I'm scared I'm gonna forget to say something important and not get the help I need.

    I'm so screwed :cry:
  4. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    May I offer you a :hug:?
  5. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    People are lucky to have you as a friend sammie and i hope those you are worried about will feel better soon. knowing they have you must help.

    As for the doctors, if you're worried about forgetting try writing some notes down and take it with you. :hug:
  6. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    Thanks :hug:

    Right now I'm shaking like a leaf. I don't want this to be yet another wasted appointment - I have to keep my head screwed on for this to work, but it's so deffinately not right now.

    I'm such a damn prat for even thinking I can get help, whether I deserve it or not :sad:
  7. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    I've tried, but I can't remember any of it at all right now :sad: Is it bad that I want a certain person to tell me what I told them last night? I'm panicking because I can't remember, and I can't remember because I'm panicking now. I'm so pathetic.
  8. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    You can't give up and yes you deserve it. like i said to you a week or so ago i am disgusted at the way the health profession has let you down.
  9. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    What time is your appointment? Try to calm yourself down, and when you're more calm you'll most likely remember what you want to say and when you do, write it down. Panicking will get you no where and will only make you more worked up, you're not pathetic. :hug:
  10. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    It's in an hour's time. I've been taking it easy all day thinking that it'll come to me so I can write it down, but it hasn't. And it turns out that my comp doesn't save MSN convos, so looking up what I talked about last night with someone isn't an option either :sad:

    I can't screw this appointment up too. If I keep doing this, no-one will ever take me seriously :cry:
  11. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Is there any way you can contact the person you had the conversation with last night? I'm sure many people forget what they want to say when they go to see a doctor, I've done that myself and if you're nervous the doctor will most likely understand. Also, it's not easy to talk about depression or certain health issues, if you accidentally leave things out and remember them before your next appointment maybe you can say you were too embarrassed to mention it but you feel as if your doctor should know. Hopefully you'll remember, sometimes things we need to remember tend to pop into our head when we don't expect it to. :hug:
  12. Wonderstuff

    Wonderstuff Staff Alumni

    Sweetie, you have to try to calm down a bit :hug: I know that's far easier said than done, but please try. You do deserve to get help, you are a great person and a wonderful friend and you deserve to feel better. Try not to go in thinking you'll screw up. There's just as good a chance that you will be fine. Just take a few deep breaths before you go in, and try to work through what you have to say, take as long as you need to to make your point, and if he's not following then by all means say it again. He's there to help you :hug:
    I'll be thinking about you, and you know I'm, and we're all, here for you no matter what happens. Love you :hug:
  13. smackh2o

    smackh2o SF Supporter

    2 easy steps. Keep it simple in your head. He will ask you whats been troubling you. State your mood. This will provoke another question. State the facts. the mood swings, the lonliness, the tears.
    That's step one.
    Step two, is provoked by step one. This will meanhe will ask you questions on what has caused you to feel this way, and you always start from the beginning.
    It might no go like that for you but keep it simple, it flows when your in there. But emphasis the feelings and tell him what the hospital said.
  14. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    You will be able to do this sammie. He should be able to guide you through by asking pertinent questions. Make sure you are honest with him in your answers. It is the only way they can help. We are back here standing behind you. Let us know how it goes. :hug:
  15. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    Thanks guys :hug:

    I managed to get through the doctor's appointment, so now it's just back to worrying about my friends. Just the way it should be :smile:
  16. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am glad you made it through the appointment sammie. Do you feel better for having accomplished it? i hope so. :hug:
  17. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

    hey sammie :hug: glad that you got through the dr appt, do you feel better after talking to the dr?