sooo say i said i was raped would you judge like everyone else who knew? what about the second time it happend? does it mean something is wrong with me? what do I do? I know im not the greatest person in the world but i never thought id have this happen to me again. this time it was way worse. first time someone i knew i loved i trusted. this time i had no idea who he was nor did i care untill that test result told me what i feared. i knew what i had to do. and i did it. i hate myself for it everyday and i hate the "man" that did this to me. he still tries to talk to me to see how i am and what i am up to. its crazy how you can have something happpen to you and you can give up on everything like that. i no longer care about anything anymore i dont even care if i have a place to live. i just want out. out of this cruel place its to the point where i cant take anymore.....it started when i was young the parents always fought andhit eachother. drank alot and did drugs...... then my dad musta thought something bad about me bc he later in life tried to kill me and to this day i want to know what i did? he hated me soooooo much. then this happens to me twice....what do i do that is sooo bad that i am hated by so many people? why must i always keep it all bottled up and a secret? thats right so you cant judge me....you can to whoever reads this maybe you can answer y i suck so bad? why must i always be judged? always depressed? horrible thoughts? i dunno im just rambling now and wish i had someone to talk to just vent out all the things i really want to say but i wont bother anyone with that junk........just answer me why must we jusdge the people who have had these things happen so badly? why?