i'm thinking about posting a load of suicide methods and other bad stuff so that i get myself banned. i figure then thats one less place to turn to. it all helps in trying to ensure i really do it this time.
if a part of you still want to live then you must hear it, and no one of us will let you go, please talk to us but don´t do anything that could be dangerous for other people. if you need to talk i´m here.
you're right obviously, tho I think you missed my point, my intention would be that the info would be deleted and my account banned, thus making it impossible for me to come back here for support, meaning that i feel even more helpless and actually them possibly, finally being motivated enough to kill myself. If I just chose not to come to the site well then I would be able to just choose to kill myself, unfortunatly my self preservation insticts seems to run quite high.
But i'm feeling better now, it's a pity the tramadol are so slow to kick in. And my sister took my <suicide method> from me. I will try and see a doctor tomorrow I think if I can, and explain that I need something stronger, Maybe they'll listen.
doctor was a twat i tried to explain it to him but he didn't understand and was completly unsympathetic, even when i burst into tears in his office. he doubled up my mirtazapine, but he wouldn;t give me anything to help stop myself when i hit the lows, there are apparently places online where such things can be purchaced without the need for a perscription, so hopefuly I can track one of those down.