Don't really know where to start... it will probably just sound like I have small problems compared to the other people posting here. I have been thinking about suicide a lot lately, although I don't think I have the guts to do it. Ever since I graduated high school last year I haven't done anything.. yeah, my fault.. whatever. The last time I was with a friend was last summer. I'm over 18 and I don't have my license. I have no friends anymore I have no job I say I'm going to the military this summer.. but that's a joke, I've been so lazy lately I couldn't run a mile. I'm losing my health insurance soon because I'm not going to college - which is great because I need check-ups for cancer. If I go out in public (rarely) it would be with my dad, since there's no other way to get there.. I get nervous every time just from being in the car, because I think someone I went to school with would see me and feel sorry for or criticize me, which makes me feel like more of a pos. If I get a job I have the same anxiety that someone I knew will see me working at some dead end job and wonder what I'm up to, which I would have to answer "nothing." -- same thing with a job interview,(I wouldn't get it because I have nothing to say) and me learning to drive at age 19 would make me look awesome too. A day of mine consist of sleeping half of the day, watching TV/listening to music or radio/playing video games.. for what seems like has been going on forever. If I was actually capable of purchasing a gun I would, I just waste my family's money when I sit here and rot. edit - Oh yeah, no one in my household thinks I'm depressed (if that's even the correct word).. I act normal when I see them for about 10 minutes or less out of a day. On rare occasions my dad will tell me I need to do something like go to college, bluntly, and I just shrug it off because I'm anxious to do so.