Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by yursomedicated, Aug 13, 2009.

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  1. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    Life hasn't been the best lately. Not sure if this is where to put this, but I am thinking about suicide. This week has been good and bad. Tuesday I had to put my hamster down. She had some internal infection that wasn't getting any better even with the anti biotics they gave me. To top it all off, as soon as I got in there they are like "Ok so it's $61." I said to my They came with me. My two closest friends I guess who I just regained (due to ex boyfriend)

    Yesteday was good and bad at the same time. Visited a friend in baltimore (2.5 hour drive) and we had a great time. I really like him. But, he's going to college an hour farther and he has no car. Tolls would kill me if I went down all the time, that and gas. I'm upset. I like him a lot. He's a great guy. Maybe we could do something. Ugh..

    Now I am sick, and work all god damn weekend. I don't know. This was just my week. I feel worthless and if I did die nothing would matter. I wouldn't matter.

    I know that I'm not going to get into Pre Vet medicine school when I apply this september. I know I wont become a vet. I know I'll fail.

    I think I may do some bad things tonight. I don't care anymore. Fuckkk.

    Someone help me please. :'(
  2. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    Is there anything you can do to distract yourself Ronnie? :love: Try to stay safe please.
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Keep posting hun. Get out all the frustration. But a voice to the anger and hurt sitting inside you. Please dont listen to the pain and do something to hurt yourself. Stay here and keep talking!!!
  4. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    RONNIE! You don't know me but I'm begging you not to think of it any more.

    You talk about your friends. Well, as the friend of someone I just lost to suicide, I can tell you that I am F**cking sick to my stomach and in mental anguish.

    I am sorry to hear of your situation, but suicide is not the answer.
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Ronnie,
    I'm sorry about your hampster.. Pets always have a soft spot in your heart.. I don't know why you think you won't be able to get into vet school. From everything I have read that you replied to others you come off as a very intelligent young lady.. Please don't fortune tell..That is a cognitive distortion..
    Keep posting here and let the anger out.. No one will think any less of you.. Thats what we all are here for..To offer you a hand to help pick yourself back up..We care!!!
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Ronnie,

    I'm sorry to hear about your hamster,losing a pet can be like losing a member of your family :hug:

    Keep reaching out hun, we're listening x
  7. I do not understand how you can even consider suicide if you have had two friends commit suicide. You know how badly it hurts those who love you. If you have nothing else to live for (which I'm sure you do) then at least consider the feelings of those around you. Don't become another number. Be safe.
  8. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am sorry to hear you are having such a rough week Ronnie. Putting pets down is never easy and then adding in the changes that will be happening soon as the new school term approaches. I want to encourage you that should you not be accepted into vet school when you apply this fall, not give up on your dreams. My daughter always dreamed of becoming a nurse. She was not accepted into the program the first time she applied and tested, nor the second, or even the third. She has test anxiety and part of the acceptance into the school she wanted to attend is that you had to be in the top 30 scores on this test. She was always number 31 or 32. She once told me she would rather miss it by 50 than 1 or 2. Finally on the 4th try she made the cut and now she has her nursing degree. So don't give up. Those that know the value of hard work and have to work for their accomplishments often times are actually the better ones in their chosen field. They know how to problem solve and do not give up when it gets tough. Those that have never faced adversity crumble in the face of it. You can do it. :hug:
  9. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    I do know all the hurt it does to people. But I still want it. I may be selfish I don't care. I want to know how many people will miss me, come to my funeral, wear wristbands in loving memory of me. Cause honestly I feel like no one gave a shit and if something did happen I'd just be another hole in the ground.
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