I've thought rather long and hard about this, and just can't seem to find an explanation as to why my head is so FUCKED UP. Seriously, MPD? 16 years of having no signs of MPD and it just randomly pops outta nowhere. What the fuck? Sometimes, I gotta wonder, why do I even bother fighting to keep going. Everyone tells me constantly that everything will get better, but fuck, look at me. Bipolar, then, MPD? To be rather honest, it just seems like it's getting worse. The urges to SH are stronger than ever. Even stronger than the last time I gave in, I just don't know why I bother with fighting it any more. I mean yeah there's people out there who care about me, but as I said before to someone, I'm just a pawn to the world. I'm here to be used by people, so that they can get what they want from me, then just leave me to die in a gutter. So why should I keep on fighting? Hmm, so that people can just use me? I think not. I'm sick of fighting. Fuck you, fuck the world, fuck the people who don't care. Thank you the very very few that do care, but fuck the world, cause I'm fucking sick of it.