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So

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#21
Actually, if I could, I'd be oblivious to everything right now.

So how can I do that? Whats the way to not care? Isn't that easier in itself than caring?

Because then you don't hurt, don't feel the pain.
 

Ritsu

Well-Known Member
#24
I will not try and stop you I would be the worlds biggest hypocrite if I did but can you at least do what I did first and try and make sense of why you chose to quit because has come to my attention you need a good reason to decide quiting is the answer.
 

41021

Banned Member
#25
aww sweetie, you honestly have so much going for you
so many you can help
you've got some heavy healing ahead of you but i know you can do it, i did.

please don't quit

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
#26
no, I quit trying to talk to people.

trying to help folks etc.

I screw it up.

That is what I quit today.

I said before I can't do anything right now, I need to be here to take care of someone.

After that though, all bets are off.
 

icequeen

Well-Known Member
#28
dont give up...i had shit peeps in my life when i was caring, they didnt help and made me feel worse. you need to understand that the pressure on you as a carer leaves you little room to deal with anything else...it is sooooooooo hard and soul destroying...many a day i felt like ending it for both of us..but i had no right to make a life choice for anyone but me... its not easy afterwards...and in someways it worse...but you owe it to yourself to go on..you may be lucky and be ok...or you may find yourself in a deeper pit than you are now..but that does not mean its insurmountable...it just seems like it right now. forget everyone but yourself and the person you are caring for, no one else is important, dont waste your energy on them. you are a good person and you need to acknowledge that and just focus on yourself and the person you care for...right now no one else matters. :console:
 
#29
Icequeen - Kali

Thank you SO much.

In tears this afternoon, I broke down. Just so hard to do this. They fell and my heart broke and I couldn't handle it and I just cried and haven't stopped really. my eyes hurt, I feel broken, completely.

And I don't do it in front of them, thats not fair as that gets them upset. But I wish we could be honest with each other, but that seems to have gone out the window a long time ago.

This hasn't been a good day. At all.
 
#31
so some days i wonder.

why do i post here? why am i a member?

when i just go around in circles, bitching & moaning, the same stuff.

there are only so many times people can read about my stuff.

its repeated, over and over.

so why am i here? what friends do i have? what good is it really doing me? what good am i doing for others here?

if i can't give anything, then whats the point? thats unfair to people here.

I wish, i honestly wish tonight that i could exit.

am tired of the struggles and the tears. of the pain and the fear.
 
#32
and then i ask myself, why do i bother?

whats the point of all of this? of putting on this great act, this charade?

who gives a shit? why don't I just be honest and tell it how it is?

i have to stop this, these thoughts, the wishes

but if your destiny is already set, whatever you do doesn't matter.

too many tears, too, too many.
 
#33
And just like everyone else, lets up and leave moanamcara on her own. Let her go through all of this alone. Yup. Great. Sure she is strong enough. Fabulous. Thanks a fucking lot. I trusted but again I see why I don't and why I shouldn't bother trying.
 

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#36
Hi you i am sorry you are having such a rough night you can pm me anytime okay it is hard when you feel so alone you are not alone now okay hugs
 

41021

Banned Member
#38
How are you doing hun?

I am so sorry i have been so messed up. i am sorry you had to witness my own internal rage at the universe...not at all meant for you....you are a sweetie.

Just wanted to check on you. I worry about you.

**hugs**
 
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