So

[icequeen]

so some days i wonder.

why do i post here? why am i a member?

when i just go around in circles, bitching & moaning, the same stuff.

there are only so many times people can read about my stuff.

its repeated, over and over.

so why am i here? what friends do i have? what good is it really doing me? what good am i doing for others here?

if i can't give anything, then whats the point? thats unfair to people here.

I wish, i honestly wish tonight that i could exit.

am tired of the struggles and the tears. of the pain and the fear.

you do give something, i can for sure say that i felt exactly like you, and altho the person i cared for is no longer here..i see now that others like you are going through the same thing and maybe i wasnt wrong for feeling how i did sometimes, and i understand how truly hard and emotionally destructive it is. caring changes things, there is no way round that. i have the benefit of hindsight and you dont understand at the time what is going on, you feel guilty, tired, hurt, at the end of your tether, all because you dont realise you are emtionally and mentally drained and you just need to reach out in real life a little more but i know how that can fail too...no one is ignoring you here...maybe they cant relate. dont feel bad for feeling bad, i just so wish i had been able to find this place when i was caring...but i barely had time to pee. vent vent vent on here...but please dont think no one cares or is ignoring you, everyone is fighting there own demons and sometimes it takes time to process and help other peeps when you in hell yourself. hang on in..just keep posting..you are NOT alone :hug:

 

[MoAnamCara]

icequeen -

thank you once again for your words and understanding.

it is difficult, so difficult.

I hope you are doing okay,

Please take care.

 

[MoAnamCara]

trying to distract myself. i wish i could go, i don't want to think these things but i also realize trying to fight will be futile eventually.