so... :(

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by cc1990, Jun 22, 2012.

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  1. cc1990

    cc1990 Well-Known Member

    i know i havent been here for a while. i started dating this guy i met a year ago (we just recently started talking again). And i tried to get him to open up to me and he wont. i mean he hardly talked to me at all in general. i really liked him a year ago but he's changed into a scared little crybaby. so i kept trying to push him to talk to me and open up. finally i told him that we should break up if he dosen't want to talk to me.... so he did. he claimed it was my fault the reason we broke up. now im trying to get him back. i have no clear idea why. i think its because i have no friends and he's the only guy i have since my ex went to prison. i guess i cling to him for fear of being alone because im a loser and dont want to be alone again. so we talked a little bit and i gave him time to think. he makes me feel like shit because he dosent want to talk me. but i feel so empty and alone right now all i do is cry and cut myself. im all alone, i dont have friends to talk to or support me like he does. :( i know that getting rid of him is the best thing for me but you have to understand my situation. i have no friends, no job or a way to get out and actively do anything from this small town im stuck in. im not like most people my age. im socially awkward almost blind. i liked him a lot a year ago and he isn't the same. i want to stay with him maybe more for desperation and fear of being all alone again so right now i feel so miserable and i want to kill myself but im too much of a pussy to do it. any advice? i dot know what to do. i hate this world so much right now. im such a loser. :(

    p.s. im sorry for the all lower caps, when im upset or depressed i dont care to type correctly, i know that sounds dumb but its something ive always done, i dont care to put forth the effort to be precise with my typing. :(
  2. angeljazz

    angeljazz Member

    If he broke things off with you so easily and doesn't want to open up to you, it's probably safe to say you two just aren't right for each other. You deserve to find someone you better click with, but I know that's a hard thing to do. In my experience, you meet people when you least expect to, when you're busy doing 100 other things. I know things are really difficult for you right now, but if you push this guy to "stay" with you, your breakup might be messier in the long run. That's not really fair to either of you.

    Also, your worth is not determined by who you are dating. A man should only occupy a portion of a multifaceted life. If you have no other facets to your world, that's something you should start to work on. Maybe take a walk in your neighborhood to interact with people from afar. Maybe start looking in shops for "hiring" signs. You have to start somewhere to put yourself out there again, I think.
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