Social Anxiety

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by SunnierWolf, Jul 3, 2016.

  1. SunnierWolf

    SunnierWolf Member

    This is my first post so I'm not to sure how this all works, but I'm going to give expressing my feelings a go.

    When I was 14, I was diagnosed with general anxiety, depression, social anxiety and ADHD and am currently on Medication for ADHD and sertraline for the anxiety and depression. I have tried coming of the anti-depressants various times as I don't like the side effects of feeling tired and lack of energy. I started on 100mg which went to
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Some of your post is missing I think. But yeah, I suffer from anxiety too and I am on sertraline (200mgs), the days are hell, I have some good days but a lot are so bad that im vomiting from anxiety, it's not fun. Feel free to tell us more about how you are doing and how old are you now?
     
  3. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hi SunnierWolf and welcome to the forum. Yes I too suffer from anxiety, depression and panic attacks. It can be a challenge just to do the normal things others take for granted. Like Petal said, it appears some of your post is missing, maybe try again and let us know a little more of what's going on. You'll find a lot of support here from people going through similar challenges. Take care
    Brian
     
  4. SunnierWolf

    SunnierWolf Member

    This is my first post so I'm not to sure how this all works, but I'm going to give expressing my feelings a go.

    When I was 14, I was diagnosed with general anxiety, depression, social anxiety and ADHD and am currently on Medication for ADHD and sertraline for the anxiety and depression. I have tried coming of the anti-depressants various times as I don't like the side effects of feeling tired and lack of energy. I started on 100mg which went to 200mg a few months ago when I started struggling again. I have tapered down to just 25mg a day and I feel very emotionally drained and quite suicidal to be honest. I'm having lots of problems in my relationship and I'm in the process of finding a job and I just feel like every day is a challenge to get through!

    My boyfriend is 17 years older than me and we keep arguing over petty things, jealously ect.. We split up every week then get back together and I can't move on from it! The relationship is so tense and we need to split up but we can't let each other go!! It's horrible, how do I let him go?? :'(

    My family has a history of mental illness and my brother who is 15 is struggling lots with social anxiety and getting out the house to socialise. He has recently tried killing himself and has self harmed which is upsetting to see.

    I feel like suicide is the only way out and I wouldn't think twice about killing myself if it didn't effect my family but I couldn't put them through that again. I have attempted overdose twice and rushed to hospital. I just don't value my life, I just want to sleep all day and stay in a shell. I find it hard talking about it so keep it bottled up inside, I don't have any friends because of my social anxiety, I feel awkward around people and when I speak out loud I go bright red which is so embarrassing, it stops me going out! How do I stop the blushing??? It's ruining my life.
     
  5. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hi SunnierWolf, I can relate to blushing when around others, I used to have that when I was younger, fortunately it went away, just be practice I guess. But it is embarrassing and the more one thinks of it the worse it becomes. I also though that suicide was my only way out, however while looking for methods I came across this forum and the people here, got me through that period. I'm not going to say it's easy, but it is an alternative. I hope you decide to stay around and get to know us. The people here are a good bunch and will help and support you. Take care my friend and agin welcome :)
    Brian
     
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  6. SunnierWolf

    SunnierWolf Member

    It's good to know I'm not the only one with these problems and that there is people to speak to that are going through the same as me! Thank you for support, it means a lot.
    I decided to split up with my boyfriend today so the bad times are only going to get worse. I feel stuck without him but we just argue all the time and it's best to end it know...I have spent the last 9 months with him everyday and I miss him 24/7 I don't know how I will cope with the heatbreak, it's my first one!!
    We split up all the time but get back together the next day and this time I need to be strong at not go back? What's the best thing to do to make sure I don't text/call him!! It's so painful :(
     
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  7. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hey my friend, it's a difficult thing to go through and it'll take some time. But you will get through it and if it's not working, it's better to end it now and move on. I'm sure there is someone out there that will be a better match for you.
    Hang in there and stay strong.
    Brian
     
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  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Him/her being 17 years older - Do you ever wonder about wanting different things out of life? Do you want children, to get married, does he? I was in a relationship with someone around 20 years older too and it was horrendous, the best thing I ever did was break up with him. I had to get out of the situation for my own sanity.

    Just keep your pride and never look back, the relationship is obviously not working out and you need to be selfish and think of YOUR needs and put them first. You seem like a nice person you should not have to deal with that bullcrap. You will probably miss him at first but don't worry the feeling does pass. And we are here for you too :)
     
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  9. SunnierWolf

    SunnierWolf Member

    Yeah I do, we are totally different! We met through boxing as it is a passion for us both,, I am not a sterotypical boxer, I like my makeup, tan, nails,, but it's something that keeps me motivated to keep going through the hard times!
    I feel that I am more mature than him even though he is so much older, I have only just left school a few years ago and he has lived half his life, had kids and lived his youth,, he even has a big tattoo of his ex of 4 years across his chest!!
    I have high aspirations for my career as I am training to become an accountant and left school with good grades and A-levels. I am from a nice family background (even though we had had major family mental health issues, my family is very kind hearted and supportive.) He has been in jail most his life and doesn't have a job, drug deals and has a bad reputation. I always go for the bad boys and it really doesn't get me far. He is dragging me down. I turned down a great work experience deal in Bulgaria to stay with him!
    I don't know where to find a nice guy with a well respected job...I seem to attract the wrong males..:/ he makes an argument over nothing, and the tension between us sometimes is unbearable, I need to get over him but I love him so much it's so hard!!
     
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    wow yeah he really IS dragging you down. drug deals??? You are a professional, you're training to become an account you need to get this low life out of your life. I wouldn't worry about the bad reputation part as we all have skeletons in our closet and we all have a past. May I ask what he was incarerated for? You need to get out of this toxic relationship and work on becoming an independent young woman (just checked your profile, you're only 18). Please follow your mind and not your heart and see sense that this is never going to work out for you. You deserve better.
     
  11. SunnierWolf

    SunnierWolf Member

    I know I do, I have a clean criminal record and I want to travel the world, because he is known to the police we got stopped in his car and I got took into the police station and searched, it was a horrible experience, so upsetting as I have never been taken into a cell at my own will and forced to take my clothes off!! All because of him...I haven't met him since we split yesterday but he did text me and asked if I wanted to go abroad with him and I said no and haven't replied to him since.