social anxiety

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by blurredlaser, Jul 15, 2010.

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  1. blurredlaser

    blurredlaser New Member

    Anybody else have this problem? People have told me since I was little that I was very quiet, too quiet, "Why are you so quiet?" I've always had trouble making friends and finding work. It REALLY became a problem once I got to college and at one point I dropped out but went back after I realized I could barely hold a job for a week. So I figured I would just power through the rest of college and ignore the depression/social anxiety stuff until I graduated. I graduated and worked for about a year and a half but eventually I just broke down mentally and quit.

    Since then I've been in and out of jobs for almost 2 years and I have realized I have to change something or I'm going to end up offing myself. I stopped drinking/doing any drugs, I've started exercising. I've been seeing a therapist for years but I haven't made much progress.

    The strategies people suggest to me, like "Get out there and start talking to people" and "Go out and start making friends", as if they know what they're talking about and it's the most obvious thing in the world, make me wonder if it's even possible for me to get across to anybody else just how drastically that plan of action has not worked for me. It's like telling somebody on crutches to get out there and swing dance. I wish I knew objectively what singles me out from most other people so I could change it, but I still have no idea. I know it's related to social anxiety disorder / avoidant personality disorder, I just don't know how to fix it. It really does make a person suicidal.
  2. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    I know what it's like to have people constantly say you're too quiet or why don't you talk so much? It gets to the point where it just pisses you off :dry:. I find the worst thing about it is that you want to get away from everyone and then once I'm away from everyone and alone, I feel extremely lonely and just feel like doing it :(. It's sometimes funny when peole say shit like get out there and make some friends. It's like, "Umm, that's my problem in this first place dumb fuck :mad:." I've learnt to just grin away as though I brush it off. In a real fact I felt like killing myself. I don't really know how to fix it. ONEDAY(that wonderful reoccuring word...) I'll probly start excersizing, get out. See if I could maybe even get some meds for the anxiety and depression. Might even see a therapist :blink:.

    The only time I've ever made friends was when I started primary school. And again a couple of years ago when I started high school and basicly everyone didn't know each other. I just have to get my head sorted out sometime or else it's gonna kill me. At times literally.
  3. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    When I was younger, I used to have social anxiety and I preferred to be by myself. But now that I'm older, it's as if I'm a different person. I've become a lot more social and go out places more often. Sometimes I have to force myself to out places and see my friends, but it's for the best to avoid being reclusive. I still like being by myself because it's so much more peaceful, but occasionally it's nice to go out and have fun with friends. :smile:
  4. UnkelHeit

    UnkelHeit Well-Known Member

    Have you considered cognitive behavioral therapy? I have SAD too. I tried the therapy but my depression was just too overpowering. I could see how it could really help somebody, though.
  5. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    This has been the source of all of my progress. Good luck sticking with your plan!
  6. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    Yes I used to suffer of this. first I got it around people. I used to feel as though they were always staring at me. Then I would get it if i were not around enough people because I was afraid of what I might do if I was alone. there is hope. Do not give up. I no longer suffer at all. I built up my confidence and now I am a social butterfly. :hug: :)
  7. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    I heard the Einstein was a ver quiet child. SO you are in good company!!!! Im so sorry things are rough. I am praying for you and hope you do too.
    Have you tried the 12 step community. Its a good place to meet friends that are compassionate and wont judge. You may find your confidence there. Just go and listen for a while and then when you see how good people are you wont mind talking and you will make a larhge network of new friends. PEASE try it!!!!

    Write me if you like,

  8. UnkelHeit

    UnkelHeit Well-Known Member

    Hey Marty. I know the twelve steps but how are they used in this context or rather who uses them? What are these communities you speak of?
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