Social Withdrawl / Not Participating in Society

[Royfokker]

I have social withdrawl, not acute but it is pretty bad. Social withdrawl is when you do not want to be part of society and live off of your family's income not going to school, not getting any job training and not working at a steady job. You have little to no contact with other people in society. I have not done anything really with my life after dropping out of high school at age 17. I was recently diagnosed with shizoid personality disorder

I am 25 now and really starting to regret my decision to isolate myself. At my age now I have no job skills, work experience and inadequate social skills. I was thnking of enrolling in a local Community College majoring in Business Programming. But it is hard to change now, those seven plus years of doing nothing but avoiding society are weighing me down. Alot of time I get panic attacks and fits of deep depression over wasting my life for so long. If I was not happy during the alleged best years of most people's lives 17-25, how will I be happy in the future? Also I am very negative, I keep talking myself out of doing things like getting a job or going back to school. I cannot make the best of the situations I find myself in, I always seem to make the situations worse than they are with my mind.

Does anyone know of any services or treatment for people with social withdrawl?

 

[reefer madness]

The older I get the more withdrawn I'm becoming. There's probably pills or something that would help.

 

[Royfokker]

What do you mean by withdrawn? Are you working?

Most of these last eight years I spent moping alone in my mom's house without a steady job.

 

[Twisted Sweet Lies]

Why not take some online college classes? I'm taking an online summer one just because the college is an hours drive. My suggestion is to try to get yourself out into society slowly so you’re not so overwhelmed. Maybe go outside for a walk? Or go to the park or movies? Then once you’re comfortable doing that get more involved and slowly work up to getting a job and taking classes in person. Do you have any friends you could go out and do things with?

 

[jhayes0027]

Twisted Sweet Lies has some good suggestions. Gradually getting out there may help, it's helping me in some ways though I've got a long way to go. I just started with family members I never really talked to or knew and kind of started hanging out with them. I've gotten out a little more, went to the theatre for the first time since early High School and just enjoying it mostly.

 

[Royfokker]

I enrolled in County College Fall 2007 and attended four courses in person.

I have no trouble going outside at all or interacting with strangers for short periods. It is just if I get a job or go to college for a while I find that I am isolated and have no friends(they only remain acquaintances). I also begin to feel my situation is hopeless in life whenever I try getting a job or going to school. I have a feeling that no matter what I do I will be unhappy, it is like innate in me to be unhappy.

 

[yeh.]

i feel ya, i used to 'get along' kinda..but at some point i got worse. and now even though i see people, they don't motivate me. im also 25. and at some point i thought i was schizoid, the anhedonia and all that. i also have no trouble going outside or interacting with strangers. i got the feeling..ok, i'll be rich, ill get a house, i'll have all those teenage desires. but then what? it's like i can't enjoy this charade, it's though, the worst thing is that peoples likes me, and i just feel too fucking alone, TOO MUCH. i think i dysthimia, but who the fuck cares what is it if we're still anhedonic. i can't even feel. so well is though-

 

[Eno]

Hey there RoyFokker. I am 28 years old and in same situation as you. I am not schizoid but bipolar myself and understand where you're at right now. Personally I think you're in the perfect position to do anything you want to.

I myself worked as soon as I left school and through rushing out into the big wide world at a young age already with problems like depression, self destructive and addictive personality, shyness I got mixed up with stupid people, drugs, alcohol, gambling, I'm in debt about £8000 and my work history is a mess (I've had about 50 jobs in 13 years and quit most of them). And now I am at my parents house and have become more and more withdrawn over the last 3 years with no social life thinking I may as well have not bothered trying to do the right thing by working so young because all that happened was I ended up worse off than if I'd just not worked for the last 13 years. Your clean slate looks better than my messy one I'd say. And you sound like an intelligent person and are at an age where I don't think you would have to endure such things as I did when I was younger as mainly they are the kind of things I ran into before I was 25 (stupid youths, drugs, alcohol were what everyone else seemed to do so to keep my "friends" I went along with it all but once I'd reached 25 I'd become wiser and didn't have to deal with all the young crap anymore). You have the chance to really start fresh without a messy past behind you.

Basically all I can say to you is if I could have seen the future and done things differently I'd have done them in the order that follows:

1) Gone to GP.
2) Gone to counceling to try and sort all the crap within me that caused me to always fuck my life up.
3) After the first two, once I was ready, go on a course (college or university) that intersted me and suited my personality type as best as possible (and not have listened to what my parents thought was best but listened to my heart), and claim benefits or got part time work to go with the course.
4) Completed course and tried harder to get a career in the course I chose.

I have done all those things except number 4 but I did it all in a mad panicked rush and so they were all mashed up and dealt with as they came along. A little forthought and time to sort me was all I needed but because of anxiety and depression I worried a lot when I looked to the future and that is why I would have taken the time first to get me sorted before anything else.

I found counceling very helpful and if you're from the UK then there are voluntary counceling organizations that are free. It's regular, gets you out of the house, you can talk about your problems and maybe find some new perspectives. It helped me a lot. Perhaps you need some meds for a while too. I have used meds but through my own taking control more I am off them now but I did need them at the time.

All the best

 

[Royfokker]

I know personally two other people who have social withdrawl both who are about my age.

One is a sort of genius, he taught himself computer programming, he reads lots of philosophical and radical literature. He does not want to work because he hates working and workers. He generally just does not buy into our society or want to. He seems unrealistic in believing he will never have to enter the workforce; living off of his parents for life.

The other says he plays video games all day and he loves to play video games. He told me he has only been outside a few minutes all summer. He also seems unrealistic about not entering the workforce. He says he just wants to play video games all day. He also says that God talks to him.

Those two are very complacent about their social withdrawl. I get panic attacks and severe depression due to my social withdrawl. I know I have to get job skills to enter the workforce but I feel like I cannot do it. I am trying to enroll into Community College as a Computer Info Systems/Business Programming Major for the 2007 semester and it is going badly for me. I am trying to register for classes too late and alot of classes are already closed, especially this one criticial course for my major CMP-113. I tried to apply for financial aid online at http://fafsa.ed.gov and I took break from my pc and left it idling too long. My session expired and I lost all the info I entered. You are suppossed to be able to resume but it says it cannot open my saved fafsa.

I do not feel like I can really do anything right. I have been saying ok, learn to program yourself by going through the book Learning Perl before classes startm but I am too depressed, too much of a proscrastinator to truly try. I have set another goal to learn Modern Greek but I never make any true progress. Whenever I try anything new I know I will fail since I failed to do almost everything I tried in the past.

 

[LostMyMind]

I'm also 25 and am the same way you are. Dropped out of school, no job, no social skills. No idea how I'm ever going to function normal in society again after being a recluse for so long. I hardly step foot out of my mother's house anymore. My thoughts are always negative, so accomplishing anything is difficult. I have psychotic episodes and deep depression that put me into these horrible suicidal thought loops. :sad: It feels like I'm stuck in a mental maze or mental hell. If you find any help for yourself please send me a PM because whatever helps you might also help me. Drugs and therapists have done me no good.

 

[Royfokker]

LostMyMind, if you or anyone wants you can contact me my email here:

I have enrolled in Community College but I am not self deluded and obedient enough to be a good student ever. Or a good worker for that matter. Nor do I want to be good at any of these self servitudes. It just makes me feel more like I do not belong in this society. I feel like I do not belong to this world like the infamous ex-Mayhem member nicknamed Dead:

"Introverted, shy, very calm, depressive, melancholic and even schizophrenic..... that’s how many described the young Swede. Since he hardly had contact with humans, spent the majority of his time alone in his room and his depression got far increased, it is probably difficult to say whether someone could do something about it or not.A lot of persons and even the bandmembers admitted that Daed wasn’t a person you could know very well. Dead stated he was NOT a human and that he did NOT belong on this Earth. He told that, as a child, he stood constantly on the threshold of Death because his sleep was so deep that his face started to turn blue. He said he already wanted to die at the age of 3." ...

From a Webpage on Per Yngve "Dead" Ohlin

I feel alot of despair and lack of hope. I look to future and everything there that most people want: a steady job, a wife, a family, I know I do not want. I think more I want to be dead than deal with those things.

Therapists, psychiatrists are a waste in my experience. I randomly browsed a website and found out the term "social withdrawl". None of these professionals ever used that term to describe me yet it fits perfectly my case. Sometimes when I do drugs I fool myself into feeling happiness, but I know the effects will wear off.

 

[Isa]

Okay guys, you need to be warned.

CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) and other psychotherapies can be helpful. And counselling. And some anti anxiety medications will help you deal with the panic attacks as you learn to go out more.




Originally I became more withdrawn because of depression. I was self harming and suicidal alot of the time.

I started skipping classes (college)
~ So my grades dropped
Which made me feel like I was letting depression ruin my life, which made me feel more depressed and I spent all my school (college) hours locked in a toilet self harming
~ And I failed my first year of college

So I tried again. I applied at a new college. I got a new boyfriend and did well on my courses...
~ But I didnt feel happy, I started skipping classes again
I got worse and worse, more and more depressed and suicidal. Attempting often..
~ Things got so bad that I would take the 1 hour bus journey to college, where my boyfriend would be waiting, burst into tears and get on the bus going home immediately. Sometimes (selfishly) asking my boyfriend to come with me...

Sound familiar?



While my mom was in hospital I stopped going out at all, 3 months she was in hospital, my boyfriend had to bring me food, or i didnt eat.


Eventually I was entirely housebound for 5 months. I only left my house to go to 4 doctors appointments. Nothing else.

In the past 6 months i got to the stage of only leaving my ROOM for food if it was somehting I really really really liked and i was hungry and to go to the toilet (next to my room). I dont answer the phone and I only live with my mom.


I have been a prisoner in my own house for 2 years.

I have been working *exceptionally* hard lately, I can manage to take my puppy once weekly to puppy socialisation classes. I can manage to go to doctors appointments if my mum makes them and if she comes with me.

Twice a fortnight I go to my local shop, and buy meaningless things.


Imagine how hard it is to have to fight yourself for 3 days just to get the courage to go and buy milk.





DO NOT let this disorder ruin your life. Seek help NOW and dont take no for an answer.

 

[Royfokker]

I can go outside no problem. I do not have a very acute social withdrawl or agoraphobia. I go outside, not as much as someone with a steady job but I do leave home.

It is just I hate this world and how it is structured and do not want to participate much.

 

[wanttodie]

hello everyone

I think I'm suffering from this disorder. Something very embarrassing happened to me 3 years back and I was made fun of by my colleagues at college and also the place where I live. I've confined myself in my bedroom and it has been a harrowing experience. I somehow managed to get a degree but this has totally wrecked my social life. Very recently, I had to leave my job because these same people were present over there. I really don't know what to do. I'm intending to move to US for further education but many of these people are going to be over there as well. I'm just hoping and praying to god that I don't ever come across these people in my life. I just want some peace and tranquility. My life is really horrible. It's so bad that I get nightmares and I can't even live without thinking or worrying about it every minute.

 

[Random]

DO NOT let this disorder ruin your life. Seek help NOW and dont take no for an answer.

Unfortunately, it's more than just a disorder. It's a way of life. I have lived this way all my life and there's no other way for me.

I couldn't change who I am if I wanted to. So I will sit here until I can't. And then.....

 

[Random]

It is just I hate this world and how it is structured and do not want to participate much.

It's probably no help but I understand how you feel. I don't have any answers for you. I can say that people who don't have this problem have no comprehension of it. Ignorance isn't even the word. They don't understand that it's for life.

 

[joyless56]

I don't know if you live in the states, but if you do, every state has a Vocational Rehabilitation Agency - I think it's some federal mandate or at least that's where the funding comes from.

Here is link to a list of these agencies by state (they all have different names).

http://www.vesid.nysed.gov/all/links.htm#otherstatevocrehabagencies

Anyway, they are set up to provide vocational assistance to people who have a disability of some sort - and mental illness is a disability.

They do assesments of your skills and aptitudes, and train you for a job that doesn't tweak your disability too much. For some of you, working at home might be an option.

So...okay you don't think you have skills or aptitudes. You might be surprised.

 

[Random]

A big part of the problem (employment-wise) is that most employers are not there to help people who have problems. They're there to make money. Period. And their hiring process isn't about helping people with problems adapt and cope. It's about weeding out the "undesirables". Unless it's a bottom of the barrel, low wage job, most employers will find a way to exclude anyone who has any hint of social or psychological problems.

In short, it isn't their problem unless they hire you. I can appreciate that there are government agencies that try to help people but it just isn't enough. They can't change the capitalistic and/or corporate mindset. They might be able to help you get in the door. MIGHT. But the employers and coworkers usually resent it.

 

[wanttodie]

A big part of the problem (employment-wise) is that most employers are not there to help people who have problems. They're there to make money. Period. And their hiring process isn't about helping people with problems adapt and cope. It's about weeding out the "undesirables". Unless it's a bottom of the barrel, low wage job, most employers will find a way to exclude anyone who has any hint of social or psychological problems.

In short, it isn't their problem unless they hire you. I can appreciate that there are government agencies that try to help people but it just isn't enough. They can't change the capitalistic and/or corporate mindset. They might be able to help you get in the door. MIGHT. But the employers and coworkers usually resent it.

The only trick to succeed is to be shameless and boldfaced. You hve to do your thing and be oblivious to what people are saying. Just think about it, worrying what other people are saying is not going to put food on your table. We have to get our act together and say hell to anyone who taunts us. They really are not worth the time. I know it's easier said than done but this is actually a fact. Weak people can't survive.

 

[ZeroGrrl]

I haven't worked for nearly 15 years. I lived with my parents until I was 27. Back then, I only left the house if there was someone with me. When I moved into a place of my own my parents gave me a dog, so I have no choice but to go outside. I do my own grocery shopping but that's it.
I hate places like shopping centres/malls etc... If I could afford it I would have all my shopping delivered to my house.
As for work, it's like Random says, employers are not there to help people, they want to make money.
Wanttodie said: "Weak people can't survive"
If I would have been born hundreds of years ago I would have been dead by now. Being a social outcast I most probably would have been called a witch and they would have burned me.
I cannot possibly imagine ever working again, although that might have to change soon. I did used to work but it was a disaster. I just cannot interact with other people. Constantly having to communicate with others, walking on your toes all day trying to be something that you're not... I couldn't and can't do it.
When I kill myself I won't be a great loss to society, only to my family. But even if I would be working, well anyone can be replaced in the workforce. You're nothing but a number. They use you up and then spit you out. :sad: