Hey, everybody. OK, so I dunno if this is wrong of me to do this. I'm posting this message mostly to try to help my wife, but I need help, too. Although I feel like I want to die every day, I don't really have actively suicidal feelings. I always hold out hope that things can change for the better so unless I found out I had a terminal disease or something, I'd never want to close the door permanently on that possibility. Is it OK to post here seeking help, advice and companionship for another person? I've seen support groups online for spouses and family members of people who have already killed themselves, but none for those who have suicidal feelings. Wouldn't you think a group like that would be even more important? Anyway, I'll just assume this is OK and go on to explain my wife's situation. So the title above describes my wife's life and feelings. She's has basically felt this way since her early teens. She grew up in a very dysfunctional family. Basically, she never had parents. Her father was out of the picture early, leaving her alone with her single mother who was horribly neglectful. I met her when she was young on a mailing list. I'm very socially avoidant myself but have had more of normal life than her. Instead of bringing something normal to her life, I just basically joined her in her isolation. Neither of us have any friends other than each other. Our relationship has gotten really bad. We're always at each other's throats and blaming one another for our misery. So I guess my question is, is there anyone else out there who's had a life similar to my wife's? She doesn't believe there's anyone she could ever possibly relate to. She doesn't think even the most suicidal people could ever relate to her unique pain of being so alone since childhood. Yes, she has me, but as I said, our relationship is horrible at this point. She feels like I emotionally abandoned her and that she just wants me to leave her now so she can die. I just don't know what to do. It's like living in a nightmare every day and it's making me want to die, too. The only times she finds people relatable is when they're screaming that they want to die. She feels she can't do anything and has no chance of ever having a normal life. Her health is only going downhill now and she doesn't want to have to suffer physically as well as emotionally. To her, just ending it all makes complete sense. Although I don't want her to die, I can sometimes see her point. OK. I guess I should just leave it there for now. If anyone can relate to this story, please let me know. I don't want her to feel so alone. I can only help so much. I need to help her find a reason to live, or at least an outlet for her painful feelings. She really needs to talk to someone who's despair and pain are on the same level as her's. She doesn't believe such a person exists. Are you that special person? Please reply. Thanks.