I'm 29, and have been depressed since I was 8. From the beginning, the vast majority of this has stemmed from total self-loathing and focusing on what I view as my own shortcomings. I've even posted on this forum and another similar one for years before being unceremoniously banned for whatever reason. I've seen many doctors and tried literally dozens of medications with nothing working, but finally started seeing a therapist this year who has finally helped me feel confidence and self-respect. Unfortunately, this has resulted in my depression fully targeting on my cynicism and sadness about society. Everything that can go wrong this year in the world has in my point of view, from a rash of brilliant artists dying too soon to a neverending glut of mass shootings, hate crimes and terrorist attacks to the two most untrustworthy presidential candidates possibly ever. There's a nonstop air of pessimism and hopelessness in the world now, at least in my brain, and it's killed my desire to keep going and trying. I've installed filters on Twitter and Facebook to block anything containing words like "Trump" or "racial" and unfollowed/blocked probably 50 people, but it's no good. Bad things keep happening, other people's bad thoughts keep appearing, and even when I just ignore social media, my own thoughts gnaw at me, convincing me that the world's begun a nonstop decline into mayhem and misery, and my life doesn't matter, even though when I look at the facts, I've made several big accomplishments over the past year. But none of it means anything to me. It's actually reached the point where I've missed several days of work because of pure sadness, not to mention driving to a <mod edit - method> will kill me (I've been suicidal for years mainly because I can't get a girlfriend, but like I said, I'm more optimistic about that now, so my desire for dying is for a different reason). At this point, I want nothing more than to be able to cope with the nonstop horrible things going on, to be able to view the things people tell me are good about the world as actually worthwhile and important, and to actually have some hope of mankind prevailing over atrocities and tragedies rather than thinking we're all doomed. But I still have no idea what will work. Talking to friends and family has only made me and them more upset (to the point that I just go on places like this now instead of discussing it with people I know), thinking by myself does the same, and while my therapist has said that bad events are necessary to drive progress in society, I just keep feeling that progress is done. I've posted other Reddit topics about this, but all the responses have boiled down to "Try and make the changes you want to see in the world", ignoring the fact that I can't stop inequality and hate and corruption from existing. I need to see things the way everyone I know does if I want to stay alive.