I feel like i'm going crazy. I have an okay life, i go to a nice school, have food to eat, two parents, grandparents, friends... but i'm still so stressed. Knowing that people have life MUCH harder than i do, i feel like i don't deserve to be feeling stressed about my life... i wish i could blame my father for everything. i never knew the exact name but my dad has a seizure of some sort (i'm assuming tonic-clonic). Because of his illness he's become overly dependent on my grandparents and expects the rest of the family to serve him as well. I've gotten into countless fights with him over his arrogance which always ended up with him saying how i'm not his daughter. I actually don't mind that comment, rather, i wish i really wasn't his daughter. I can't stand living with him. I think it was partially because of him that i developed a short tempered bitchy personality. Now i treat everyone around me really shitty... I remember my sister asking me why my quiet piano playing was so different from how i treated everyone and how it really didn't fit my image. and just a couple hours ago I snapped at my sister for complaining when i was the one at fault for picking on her weak points... I really don't want to be like this, I often wanted to change myself to a nice, kind, and gentle person. But i just can't. I'm afraid that people will notice this change and find it too strange and conflicting with my old personality. I guess also at fault for being to proud and scared of changing... I really don't know what to do, half of me doesn't want to change while the other is screaming for me to stop being so cold to others, trying to live with other people is hard isn't it?