Soft Suicide Attempt Last Night

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by LexiRN, Jul 2, 2013.

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  1. LexiRN

    LexiRN Active Member

    *Trigger*

    Yesterday I was having incredible anxiety...my benzo wasn't touching it. Soon, it seemed like everytime I walked past the bottle, which was too many times to count, I took a small handful. I wasn't looking to die per say, but by the time it was physically evident what had and was happening, my husband counted my missing pills and immediately had a ride take me to the hospital. From there I don't remember much, just waking up and being dissapointed I was alive for
    some reason. The pdoc said I had disassociated based on people's recollections and my little remembrance of the experience. So the day after, I feel physically and emotionally ill and kind of wishing I had gone to bed instead of letting others see me and I wish I had taken more pills. I never thought I would go as far as I did because that was not the plan, but now I am wondering if I should just finish the job?
     
  2. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    No, you should not LexiRN. You should try to understand why you had such anxiety.
    Can you tell us what it was that made you feel that way?
     
  3. LexiRN

    LexiRN Active Member

    I have generalized anxiety disorder plus I take care of my mother who has psychosis. I was just feeling overwhelmed after dealing with my mother all day who was harassing and having a psychotic episode. The kids were fighting non stop, etc. and it all just sent me over the edge.
     
  4. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hi, LexiRN. I'm sorry you took too much medicine. I'm glad your husband was there for you. I can imagine you feel pretty badly right now. Please give yourself some time to get on solid footing again.

    I think you have some good reasons to feel anxious and stressed and they must contribute a lot to the generalized anxiety disorder. Perhaps you could find an hour or two every week for just you. No kids, no mom, no household stuff. Just you. Could your husband take care of the kids and is there a community worker who could take care of your mother for an evening each week? Maybe if you google of your area + "community services," you will find what sorts of things are available in your area.

    Glad you are reaching out here and hoping you feel better soon! Please stay safe. :hug:
     
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