Solutions needed - Financial Desperation.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Degenerate Escapist, Jun 12, 2013.

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  1. Degenerate Escapist

    Degenerate Escapist Well-Known Member

    I could pretend like it's me and I'm feeling suicidal about it, but it's about my friend and I don't really know where else to look, and I thought about posting here because this forum is about surviving and getting help. She's the kind of person who won't give up because she has something to fight for, but I know she must be going through Hell. Sorry if it may be the wrong section.

    My friend Kassy, who is 19, is being kicked out of the place she's renting, along with her mom and 13yo brother. Her mom teaches at a University, but has no work for the summer. Kassy had a job babysitting, but was put in jail for unpaid tickets(recently released) and I don't know if she still has that. Neither of them have bank accounts, so they can't get a loan. They are surviving off of food stamps and also getting a Small amount for having a kid. She's talking about selling herself, and I really don't want to see her resorting to that.

    This is in the US.
    They need income and a place to stay at, if they can't resolve things with the landlord who is heartless for them being a month late to a place they just rented out.

    I was going to tell her maybe she could get her brother to stay at a friend's place and maybe her and her mom could go to a family shelter. I haven't spoken with her yet, so I don't know if that would work.. She's going to call me back later, so I'd like to gather more options.

    I live with three other people, and I know they would not be ok with letting them stay here. I may ask another friend for a loan to help them out, but I don't know if she would say yes, and I'd rather not resort to that.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 12, 2013
  2. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    First, I'm sorry to hear that your friend is experiencing a bad issue like this and it is fantastic that you have stepped up and cared enough to try to problem solve. They should be proud to have you as a friend.

    My wife also teaches, but she uses the option that allows her to be paid throughout the summer months while she is off as well (they divide out the salary across 12 months). Going forward, suggest that to the mom so that she can maintain the same income when school is out. Are they both unable to go to a temporary agency and seek jobs? I'm not trying to sound uncaring, but surely there are actual "work" options they can choose rather than selling themselves for money. The volume of tickets to go to jail for must have been severe, there have been some bad choices thus far, and that can be turned around.

    As you said, though, there are shelters available for them and very surely assistance from the state for the 13 year old insofar as housing and care. Rather than continue on a cycle, it is time to make some good decisions such as temporary shelter, state assistance for the minor, and actual working jobs (ManPower and other temporary services would, at the very least, be able to place mom in some temporary or contract position - if not both of the adults). St. Louis is a big city and there are surely jobs available, if even in just fast food.

    If it were me, I would work hard to convince them to do the right thing - even it it means a little more or longer suffering. In the end, doing things correctly always pays off long term. What she is thinking/considering has too many reasons that it can do more harm than good in the long haul.
  3. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    The landlord cannot kick them out until he has a court order for eviction. If he has not done this they do not need to leave. Unless they have very valid grounds to refuse paying the rent it will be granted once he applies and then they will have anywhere from 10 to 30 days to leave or the land lord can move there stuff to the street himself. If he has not served the real paperwork they have a little more time. (on a side note it does not make him heartless- he may need the money as badly as them and even if not it is his job and income and very few of us would say do not pay me this month).

    Regardless of where that stands, have them call 211 - it is the social service hotline and they will get them a case manager/social worker to help find housing, locate any emergency benefit programs, or apply for fast track benefits. It is much faster than applying individually and they know what programs are available for them to apply for.

    If that is anything like here it will be a long process - several days of most the day to wait to see people, sometimes getting assistance, sometimes wait listed, and sometime denied. This is just the way these things work. The way it needs to be looked at is if working 8 hours a day is standard, no reason to expect it to be less to get the assistance when not working and impatience and loud typically does not help with social services (at least until after you have been denied) - to start with being patient will get more tips and information and results.

    Contact charities in the area and women's shelters may help them find advocates to also dig up other sources of assistance.
  4. Degenerate Escapist

    Degenerate Escapist Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the info. I'll talk with her later and leave an update on the situation.
  5. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    hi I think it was a good decision to come here looking for some ideas. I agree with everything everyone has said. my main suggestion would be to call, 211 and explain the situation. This is United way. They have a huge database of places that people can turn to for help. If the info they give doesnt lead to any solutions, call back again. Different people there have different levels of resource skills. I had to call twice to come up with a lead that helped me.

    You are a good and caring friend. I will send good thoughts that things work out for your friend and her family.
  6. Degenerate Escapist

    Degenerate Escapist Well-Known Member

    I haven't checked with them lately when it comes to social services, but what's happened so far, is that a good friend of mine lent them 660 to help them out, and they took that money with the intention of finding a new place, because there's no way in Hell they are staying there with the power cut off, their psychotic, pedophile landlord, and the dangerous neighborhood... Great news. I really love my friend for helping out..

    The other day, though, the people we're helping invited some "friends" over to stay the night and help move, but the next morning, the money went missing. After strip searching and lots of interrogation, still nothing was found. These people clearly had to have taken the money, but there was no way of proving it. There was so much drama, and it hurt so much to see my friend break down, and lose her voice over arguing so much.

    They're just about back to zero. Further in debt. Crazy, vengeful landlord. Eviction looming. Not many options.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 22, 2013
  7. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    It sounds as if the root cause to a lot of their problems is buried deep within the decision making process. Though times are difficult right now, perhaps you can convince them to use these current issues as a learning experience. Mounting up lots of parking tickets, not planning financially, inviting people into the home and having cash somewhere that can be accessed, no advance job planning, and even the initial mention of "selling herself" is bordering on reckless. Has the 19 year old considered picking up a job? Fast food, or similar (maybe retail?), could be a good starting point. In the meantime, they probably have to put up with their current living situation. Eviction is a process that takes time and there probably are various church or social service options for some money to get through a few rough spots in the meantime - but they should be planning more long term because even if they had that money and moved into a new location, how would they pay those bills going forward??
  8. Degenerate Escapist

    Degenerate Escapist Well-Known Member

    They have been getting interviews and the mom just got a job. I also told her she can learn from this and move on. She had the money on the table, thinking she could trust these people since they've been around the other 2 enough, but that's just what happens. If they had the cash in the bank and a debit card, at least they can track or freeze the card, and some banks even reimburse the stolen money.
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