Some advice. Anyone?

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#1
Lately it seems that I have been becoming more and more intolerant of people. Sometimes it feels like it is unbearable to be around them. I get so easily annoyed. Not only that I love my alone time. I feel happy and at peace when I am alone. I crave it more and more everyday. But when I am around people I become lonely, angry, and easily irritable. The only people I like being around are a few of my closest friends, and my immediate family.

Is this normal? Or should I seek help? I haven't always been like this. I used to care about everyone around me. I always tried to be the fun, happy person that everyone liked. But pretending to be this person has never led to any happiness, people have just walked all over me. I'm tired of it.:dry: There is a loner in me just waiting to break out, the idea excites me. But there is this side of me that says wait a minute this isn't normal. I'm not going to isolate myself completely. I'm just going to stop caring what other people think about me. I going to stop pretending to be something so other people will like me. Because the real me is unbearably shy, and boring. I probably won't be making new friends any time soon. Somebody please tell me I'm not losing my mind:unsure:
 
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Allo..

Well-Known Member
#2
No, you're not loosing your mind.
a lot of people feel like that, and at times I do too, because we live in such a sociable world it's good to be able to build your "people skills" and your comfort around people up.. But there is nothing wrong with wanting to be alone.. but i think you should try and not let it take over your life..

:hug:
 

amee

Active Member
#3
You probably just need a chance to act like yourself.

Everybody feels that way -- except the people who've already figured out how to stay legal, safe, sane, and consensual already, who we usually seek out as guides and mentors.

If you can be you without harming yourself and / or others, go ahead and do it, glomp on to the people who appreciate it (they will be ecstatic) and tactfully avoid those who don't (frigid gits), and you'll be much the better for it.

(harm = legal, unnecessary levels of social, and of course physical harm: don't do these, they're bad.)

--Amee
 

Forgotten_Man

Well-Known Member
#4
Hmmm... well why don't you do what I am doing in changing myself. Make the changes small and subtle. Like I am trying to become more social, but I am a huge sarcastic loner in the eyes of others. So I am slowly smiling more saying hi and actually talking to other people. I do not say or do much at a time. I am going very slowly.

As for are you screwed up. Nope I am the same way, only I am trying to make some new friends. I am a loner by nature I love being alone because then I can do pretty much whatever I want, and I am weird so that comes in handy. But with the one friend I do have I love being around him. Even if I cannot be honest with him all the time. So there is nothing wrong with you in my book. Some psychologists might say you have some weird disorder and give you some pills. But we are who we are there are always loners in any group of social animals.

I hope this was of some help.
 
#5
Thanks for everyones replys. All of it good advice. I appreciate it. A loner is who I am. I am finally coming to terms with that. God it feels good to say that without being filled with self loathing. I feel like I am coming out of the closet, but instead of being gay I am a loner. I was a closet loner. Now I'm a proud loner. It helps that I have also had a great deal of friends. I've lived the party lifestyle. I have been in love twice, and also engaged. But my need to be alone always sabotaged all that. Now I know why. Man, I am weird.
 
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Forgotten_Man

Well-Known Member
#6
Thanks for everyones replys. All of it good advice. I appreciate it. A loner is who I am. I am finally coming to terms with that. God it feels good to say that without being filled with self loathing. I feel like I am coming out of the closet, but instead of being gay I am a loner. I was a closet loner. Now I'm a proud loner. It helps that I have also had a great deal of friends. I've lived the party lifestyle. I have been in love twice, and also engaged. But my need to be alone always sabotaged all that. Now I know why. Man, I am weird.
We all lie to ourselves in some way shape or form. You are not different, nor am I. Very few people live the life they want at first. I have always been a loner, but I have always faked hatred of other people claiming they will only use me. When I decided to repeal that idea I felt much better. :rolleyes: I am currently pretending not to be a loner in the hopes that I will make a few good friends and maybe find love. But I am sure consistent failure on my end will make me give up eventually. ANYWAY, that is great you feel so relieved about this. There is nothing wrong with accepting yourself no matter what you are accepting.

 
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