Hi
I'm 51 years old, and a former "professional", earning £75k pa
2 years ago, I was made redundant, and have been unable to get a job since. My outgoings are significant, and the last of my resources were transferred to my bank today, which will see me through to the end of January. At the end of this month I will start defaulting on my obligations, which will effectively seal my fate as I was in Financial Services, and bad credit will bring an end to any (diminishing) hopes I might have had to regain employment. Of course it is not that simple.
I have just "celebrated" my 30th wedding anniversary. I have 5 children, and have worked constantly for 33 years prior to redundancy. 10 years ago, my spouse started playing around and as far as I can tell continues to do so. I realised this about 7 years ago and made a consummate effort to resolve. I considered that my constant striving for a job that would allow me to provide for them all was largely to blame, and cut back on my hours back to the contractual obligation and spent many hours and thousands upon thousands of pounds making amends. It didn't work. Unfortunately after 4 years of this I gave up, and slid into semi-alcoholism. This, combined with (as my employers saw it) my 'work to rule' led to me losing my job, which was exacerbated by my drink problem. Even working to rule I was working 80+ hr week once the daily 4hr commute and weekend working as a musician was factored in (all to try to make things better for every one). Since being made redundant, I tried to shorten my life with alcohol, drinking in excess of 1ltr of vodka per day. Unfortunately it seems that despite Asthma and Diabetes, my constitution is far stronger than I thought.
6 months ago I started trying to sell the house for a fair price, but despite a few time wasters have not been successful. I could reduce the price, but then I wouldn't have sufficient equity to buy another property, despite my willingness to move to a much cheaper area.
I finally gave my wife an ultimatum, which seemed to shock her out of her complacency, but too little, too late. If she had come to the party a few years back, I doubt we would be in this predicament.
I have now run out of money, and will no doubt lose everything I have worked for - and as an added issue my (well actually her) 4 dogs will likely be euthanised as a result.
i know that I am shortly to face a s**t storm, and I simply can't face it. I am a proud man who has dragged himself up from abject poverty and simply cannot face a return to it. My mother is now relatively wealthy and could easily help, but due to her nature I know she will not (she owns two properties and is sitting on about £300k liquid in addition). I have not spoken to her since the redundancy - not because she wouldn't help,(which she wouldn't) but because she lied about her situation, but then she put me in care when i was 12 for primarily fiscal reasons.
Whoops - too much information.....
I have suffered from depression from my late teens, but it has become unbearable now. if i don't drink, I shake badly and cannot sleep. To put it bluntly, I want out, but I'm something of a coward.
Thanks for looking,
Nick
I'm 51 years old, and a former "professional", earning £75k pa
2 years ago, I was made redundant, and have been unable to get a job since. My outgoings are significant, and the last of my resources were transferred to my bank today, which will see me through to the end of January. At the end of this month I will start defaulting on my obligations, which will effectively seal my fate as I was in Financial Services, and bad credit will bring an end to any (diminishing) hopes I might have had to regain employment. Of course it is not that simple.
I have just "celebrated" my 30th wedding anniversary. I have 5 children, and have worked constantly for 33 years prior to redundancy. 10 years ago, my spouse started playing around and as far as I can tell continues to do so. I realised this about 7 years ago and made a consummate effort to resolve. I considered that my constant striving for a job that would allow me to provide for them all was largely to blame, and cut back on my hours back to the contractual obligation and spent many hours and thousands upon thousands of pounds making amends. It didn't work. Unfortunately after 4 years of this I gave up, and slid into semi-alcoholism. This, combined with (as my employers saw it) my 'work to rule' led to me losing my job, which was exacerbated by my drink problem. Even working to rule I was working 80+ hr week once the daily 4hr commute and weekend working as a musician was factored in (all to try to make things better for every one). Since being made redundant, I tried to shorten my life with alcohol, drinking in excess of 1ltr of vodka per day. Unfortunately it seems that despite Asthma and Diabetes, my constitution is far stronger than I thought.
6 months ago I started trying to sell the house for a fair price, but despite a few time wasters have not been successful. I could reduce the price, but then I wouldn't have sufficient equity to buy another property, despite my willingness to move to a much cheaper area.
I finally gave my wife an ultimatum, which seemed to shock her out of her complacency, but too little, too late. If she had come to the party a few years back, I doubt we would be in this predicament.
I have now run out of money, and will no doubt lose everything I have worked for - and as an added issue my (well actually her) 4 dogs will likely be euthanised as a result.
i know that I am shortly to face a s**t storm, and I simply can't face it. I am a proud man who has dragged himself up from abject poverty and simply cannot face a return to it. My mother is now relatively wealthy and could easily help, but due to her nature I know she will not (she owns two properties and is sitting on about £300k liquid in addition). I have not spoken to her since the redundancy - not because she wouldn't help,(which she wouldn't) but because she lied about her situation, but then she put me in care when i was 12 for primarily fiscal reasons.
Whoops - too much information.....
I have suffered from depression from my late teens, but it has become unbearable now. if i don't drink, I shake badly and cannot sleep. To put it bluntly, I want out, but I'm something of a coward.
Thanks for looking,
Nick
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