got up at ususal 2am and logged onto my favorite website after lighting a cigarette. there right there in front of me was a post by a very newcomer "I don't want to be here anymore!!!" in the post a simple declaration "I wish I was dead". At the time felt like making post invisible but added some triggers to his post and left site very quickly because this really upset me then. along with lack of my sleep, a few troubling things going on I was feeling very badly. put on a Groban cd and went to the can and had a dump and tried to hide for awhile.. too early to call anyone. cannot make myself post and say just how i was feeling then. cogitated for a while and then went back and posted a response to this troubled soul best as i could. please get ahold of some professional help ASAP. do not end it now!!!! avoided urge to ask them to personal message me and let myself become more involved with this person rite now. with my disabled son John in my life suicide is not an option which i can ever act on but still sometimes I do wish it would end and stop. just sometimes life seems like a battle i am not winning..... time to go fire up the boob tube and directv's dvr and watch the comedy show of last night's political debate. that ought to be humorous if nothing else. cheer up Jim, momma will be bringing JOhn back in about 5 hours or so and his smile will warm your soul very quickly.